All It Seems

Part 32: I resolve I'm not perfect

"Is it that obvious?"

"A little," he shrugged, "but honestly you can ask me whatever you want, I'm not exactly shy considering the whole world knows most of my life,"

I nodded, pulling at the skin on my lip with my teeth until it started to bleed. The silence between us continued for another minute and he sucked in a deep breath and stretched his neck.

"Lu's mum left when she was only about two or so," he started, leaning forward to put his empty bottle on the coffee table. "We met when she was in school and I'd been finished for a year already. We found out she was pregnant after a couple of months of us being together. She moved in, we have Lucy and I came home from work one day to see she was gone without a note or anything. Lucy was asleep in her cot," his eyes grew dark but not depressed, as though talking about it made him exhausted but he'd told it a hundred times. I leaned forward a little to hear him better. He looked at the floor and chewed at his lip as though unsure what to say next.

"I'm sorry," I placed my hand on his knee as though that could be any kind of comfort for a man who'd been heartbroken.

He sighed, looked at my hand and placed his on top with a smile to say 'it's alright'.

"I can't tell you how glad it is to have you knowing about me being Lucy's father," he started, his hand still on mine. "I feel like I've missed out on so much of her growing up because I hardly get to see her. Now that you know," he squeezed my hand firmly, "I feel like I can finally be a real dad again. And I know how much Lucy has wanted someone in her life she can look up to."

"She adores you, you know?" I gently rubbed the top of his hand with my thumb as he looked at me with sadness plain on his face. "I could tell that she wanted to tell me everything about you and every time she let something tiny slip she was heartbroken that she couldn't tell me more. But when I found out, she spent everyday telling me about you and everything she loves about you."

His brow creased and a small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. My phone buzzed beside me and it broke the energy that was between us. It was a text from Isaac. I ignored it and placed it on the coffee table in front of us and we continued talking of Lucy whilst my phone buzzed every five minutes with messages from Isaac.

"Someone seems eager to reach you," said Kingston and he rose from his seat to take our empty bottles to the bin. I reached for my phone and followed him to the kitchen.

"Just my boyfriend, he's... always very interested in what I'm doing," I muttered, not wanting to give him the impression that he clings to me like a sad puppy. "I really should get going, I've got uni tomorrow and I'm well behind on a lot of classes," 

"Of course, I may or may not see you tomorrow. I'm flying out to LA and won't be back until Wednesday,"

"Oh, do you -"

"It's okay, Jeff is coming for a night and Slim will be here while I'm gone. It'll give you a chance to keep up with uni," he smiled and extended his hand towards the door to show me out. I grabbed my bag and jacket, slipping them onto my shoulders and rummaging for my keys. 

"Thank's for tonight, I had fun," I beamed and stood at the door.

"No worries, it was great to actually get to know you. I'm glad we did," he opened the door for me and I stepped onto the porch just under the easement and out of the drizzling rain.

"Well, enjoy LA. I guess I'll see you soon," I looked up into his green eyes and he nodded with a gentle smile. He opened his mouth as though to say something but closed it tightly. "Bye," I said with a small wave and walked over to my car. He stood at the door way and watched me pull away. 

I let the butterflies in my belly erupt like a volcano and my hands started shaking from excitement. I just had dinner with James Kingston. I had beers with James Kingston! 

A huge smile adorned my face the whole drive back and when I pulled into the garage and saw Isaac's car I was reminded that I'm not supposed to feel this way. I love Isaac. Isaac and I are together.

I gathered myself and took the stairs two at a time to get to the flat faster. Before I'd even turned the front door handle I could hear Kim's pearly laughter and forced myself not to roll my eyes.

"Hey guys," I jeered as I opened the door to see them chilling on the couch and watching an episode of something.

"Hey Alex," Kim waved from the couch and Isaac shot my a kind smile that I couldn't help but notice seemed a little forced.

"What did you guys get up to?" I asked as I walked through to my room and dropped my bag on the bed

"Nothing much, there's pizza on the bench if you want it," answered Kim, her eyes still trained on the tv.

"I already ate but thanks," 

It was late and I just wanted to go to bed but instead I pulled out a textbook and my laptop and sat at the kitchen counter with my headphones in. 

I tried to study but all I could think about was how wonderful tonight was. Kim laughed loudly and I could just hear it through my headphones.

I was suddenly hit with a pang of guilt. I'd been so judgemental of Kim but if Isaac knew I'd had dinner with James Kingston he'd flip his lid. I turned to look at the two of them on the couch and resolved that if I can have dinner and work for James Kingston then when I know Isaac would be incredibly unhappy, then I can learn to live with Kim being a second head to Isaac's body. 

Hopefully the length of this chapter can make up for how late it is. I've been so busy with the end of my trimester and work that I haven't had a chance to work on it. However, I do have 5 chapters planned and prepped so I can get them out on time - hopefully.

Enjoy guys! Stay safe and well! 

Love me! xx