Prince Charming Must Die

38. In a Land of Unicorns and Dragons, You Better Believe in Yourself Too!

"Yes," Tressa and Kai chimed in.

"Well, okay, that too."

"Derek is in love," Tressa sang.

"Oh, hush. How is it you already need another haircut, woman?"

"Uh," Tressa grabbed a hank of hair and pulled through her tresses, all the way to her waist. "Overzealous hair growth is my curse. Remember?"

Okay, her friends were terrific but not perfect. But the important thing was that she had friends. Sadly, they tended to lose focus the moment no one was firing arrows or balls of fire in their direction, threatening to boil them in a cauldron, eat them, or toss them off a mountaintop.

"Dearest friends," Ashley began, "can we please forgo the haircut until after the rescuing part is wrapped up?" Ashley suggested. "We've got quite a long to-do list, including getting into the room where they're holding the kidnapped children, escaping the room with said kidnapped children, returning to the garden, invoking the pasta word which will take us to the mountaintop, finding our friends, and convincing the dragons to fly us to safety. It's a full schedule. No time for grooming."

"There is always time for grooming," Derek scoffed, tossing back his head, strands of green hair scrambling to their proper places, like actors right before curtain. His coif didn't know the meaning of hat hair. "We're not savages."

"Perhaps we don't have to worry about Druscilla coming back, Ash," Tressa said. "Maybe she'll char to a crisp before she finds help." Tressa clasped her hands together beneath her chin and looked up at the sun-washed sky.

"Imagine what being on fire must feel like," Layyin said, casting a covetous gaze at the smoke Dru had left behind.

"Horrendous, blistering pain?" Derek said.

"You'd feel so alive," Layyin breathed.

"Until you're not," Tressa said.

"In the off chance we make it out of here alive, we're going to get Layyin some major psychological counseling," Derek said, shaking his head. The baby dragon coughed, showering Derek's arm with golden sparks. "Ouch."

"I'll hold him," Layyin offered.

"No way. You'll teach him something terrible, like how to drown in a fountain or rip a hole in the protoplasm and transport himself to a dangerous, inhospitable realm."

Layyin pursed her lips. "Don't be ridiculous. The hole in the protoplasm is gone."

Ashley snapped her fingers. "That's it. The answer."

"What was the question?" Derek said.

"We need to create a new tear in the protoplasm. To get to the children."

"Good idea," Derek snarked. "Has your magical ability finally taken root? Can you now fly a broomstick and bend spoons with your mind?"

"No, of course not. But, why would I want to bend a spoon with my mind?"

Derek shook his head. "That's hardly the point. The point is, how do you propose we re-rip the universe sans magic?"

"Um," Ashley said, looking around for sharp objects. Her eyes paused on Derek's purple velvet coat. "Are your scissors in your ... uh ... new outfit?"

Holding the baby dragon in the crook of one muscular arm, Derek checked his pocket and extracted his trusty scissors. "They're here, but last I checked, they could cut hair, paper, flower stems, flesh maybe, but not the fabric of the universe."

"Have you ever tried?"

"No. Because I am not insane."

"That's still up for debate," Tressa mocked.