14. His Favorite Things

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"How do we kill him?" Sadira said, clenching her fists and slamming them into the water.

"That lying, conniving, fopdoodle of a bedswerver!" Derek growled. "I don't care how we do it as long as it's painful."

Tressa's eyes flashed. "I vote we boil him in oil. Quick and agonizing."

"Wouldn't drowning be better?" Kai asked.

"Why, because you want to do it?" Layyin accused.

Kai slapped her tail on the water's surface, sending a splash across the room. Half the jacuzzi emptied in the process.

"My hair," Tressa shrieked. "Do you know how long it takes to dry this mop?" She jumped out of the jacuzzi and grabbed a towel.

"If you don't like it, why don't you chop it off?" Derek said.

"Because it's my thing! It's all I have," she spat.

"Sensitive much?" Derek teased.

"I'm the sensitive one," Layyin snapped. "That's my thing. And my vote is for trampling him." She grinned. "So many bruises that way."

Blanche: "No, too messy. Poison is the way to go. It's painful, and there's no blood to clean up afterward."

Everyone began arguing simultaneously, tossing out murder scenarios. One thing was for sure—royals had endless ideas about the best way to kill people. Her head swam, both from wine and the din echoing off the hard surfaces in the room. Instead of the voices of six people, it sounded like a torch-wielding mob of villagers, hungry for blood.

Ashley held up her arm. "Wait, maybe we should slow down and let one person speak at a time?"

No one heard her because, at this point, the spouting of murderous strategies grew to a fever-pitch. Ashley held her head in her hands.

"Please!" Sadira clapped her hands. The room quieted. "Ashley's right. It's impossible to plot a good murder when we're all acting like beef-witted pignuts. And while we're at it, can we please turn off that horrible music?" Sadira said, rotating her hands in an impressive, complex, mystical-looking gesture.

Ed Sheeran stopped singing. But this never happened. It was a continuous loop. "How did you do that?" Ashley said.

"Fairy magic."

Ashley's eyebrows drew together. "You're a fairy?"

"Of course not. But my three fairy godmothers gave me 'voice-control over annoying magical spells' for my birthday this year."

"You're lucky," Kai said. "Wish I had a fairy godmother. All I have is an anxiety-filled flounder and a bossy crab."

Sadira sipped her wine. "I asked for the power of invisibility or the ability to time-travel, so it was a little disappointing, to be honest. They always told me not to rely upon magic to fix my problems. But I'm fairly certain they're just stingy about sharing their powers."

Three fairy godmothers? It was as if a knife sliced through Ashley's heart. Not only did Sadira have three fairy godmothers, but they were still with her. Why didn't they have new assignments from the head office? Ashley refilled her glass and guzzled. Then filled and guzzled it again. The room spun. Wine sloshed in her stomach. But now the fairy godmother news didn't hurt quite so bad.

Some part of her knew this shouldn't be her focus right now.

Her entire world had just swung on its axis. For so long, she'd thought the problem in her marriage was her. If only she were sexier, smarter, more regal, could fly a unicorn. But now she knew that no matter how hard she tried, it would've never been enough. It was all happening too fast.

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