Songs to Stories

The Breakup by LANY

"We just went into our relationship too fast, I'm sorry. It felt rushed to me," Lilian tells me, tears streaming down her face.

That's all I hear her say before I completely block her out. Her words are incoherent, and I feel thoughts flood my brain.

To me it was anything but rushed. In fact, it was too slow for me. I wanted all of her, and now I realize she probably didn't want all of me.

"You do realize there's no going back after this, right? Once we break up, there's no going back to what we had," I tell her, knowing our relationship will never be the same.

She nods, and I get up from the bed. I walk to the door of her room, and turn around.

"Hope you're happy," That's the last thing I say before leaving her house for the last time.

2 Months Later

"Ah fuck, faster!"

Does every girl say that during sex?

I slide in and out of the girl I just met, and I can feel her cum. Not long after, I cum into the condom and pull out. We both fall back on the bed, and I realize just how loud the music from downstairs is. I take a deep breath, and get up to leave.

"Where are you going?" The girl asks, batting her fake eyelashes at me.

"Home," I respond, taking the condom off, then throwing it away. I put my pants and shirt on quickly.

"Can I come with?" She gives me these big puppy dog eyes, but it just reminds me of her.

I want to be alone.

"No," I tell her harshly, and leave without looking back.

I finally find the stairs, and I can hear the whispers again from people around me. They don't seem to ever stop, especially at school.

"I feel so bad for him,"

"She probably thought he was too clingy,"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he had sex at school,"

"He's so desperate,"

"He's such a dick,"

I let out a breath when I finally get outside, and the music gets quieter and quieter.

Coming back from a party is always awkward. My window is small and right over my bed. That's the only way to get in without getting caught. But this time I don't go through my window.

Because when I get back, my mom is waiting for me on the porch steps.

"Young man, where have you been?" My mom yells into the dark night, and I sigh.

"I was at a party," I tell her, seeing no point in lying. She just sighs, and pats the stair space next to her. I do as she asks, and I sit down next to her.

"What's going on with you? This is the 5th time now that I've caught you," She tells me, and I feel surprised that she's been counting.

"I just need to forget," I tell my mom sincerely, and like always, she listens to every word.

"Forget what, sweetie?" She asks, looking worried.

"I did everything I thought she wanted. I took her on dates, I made her laugh, I told her I loved her, and then she broke up with me," I tell her, and saying those words make me feel so defeated.

"Hey, take it slow. You don't fall in love that fast, it takes time," She advises, and I can feel my eyes sting with tears.

"Well you can't fall in love in slow motion either," My words come out colder than I wanted them to. I get up, and walk inside the house. I go straight to the bathroom, and take off all my clothes and jewelry.

When I step in the shower the water is boiling hot, but that's how I like it. My skin turns red, and I lean against the cold tile. Before I can stop myself, a sob escapes my throat.

No matter how many girls I fuck, I can't forget her. Maybe I just wish that I could forget her body by being with others. But so far that has not happened, at all.

The tears mix with the water, and I slide to my knees. I put my shaking hands over my face, and gasp for air. My heart feels like it's in physical pain, and I put one hand on my chest. My entire body shakes, and I feel like my chest is being ripped open.

Fuck, I don't want to be alone.
__________

I shift in the hard wooden chair awkwardly, and the chatterbox in front of me just keeps talking.

I decided to finally go on a real date, and I've been miserable the whole time. Now I'm starting to think this was a really bad idea. I want to stick around, but damn I'm bored.

"And my dad works for a really cool place in Japan!"

"Mhm," I zone out again, and pick up a clean fork. I spin it between my fingers a couple times, then I pick up the clean butter knife. I spin them both at the same time, and I get faster and faster. She continues talking, not even noticing that I'm not listening.

She's got a pretty face, but an empty head.

I put down my utensils, and look out the window. It's lunchtime, so the sun is brightly shining outside.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to head home," My apology is lazy and half hearted, but my heart just doesn't care.

"W-what?" She stutters a bit, and I get up with a sigh.

"I'm going home," I tell her, and put a fifty dollar bill on the table. I turn around, but I hear her yell back at me.

"Gosh, you're such a dick," I look down at the ground, and walk right out of the restaurant.

I decide to walk home in the middle of the empty street. The air is crisp and clear, but I feel like I can't breath. My knees buckle, and I let my body fall to the ground. I roll onto my back, and I can feel a couple rocks press into my skin.

Fuck, run me over.

A couple minutes go by, and I'm still looking up at the sky. When I hear tires turn onto the street I'm laying on, I close my eyes. I hear the car stop, and then someone stepping out of the car.

When I open my eyes, I see a cute girl that I've never seen before.

"Hi, are you okay?"