A Sword and A Shield [The Hobbit X OC]

6 - Roast Mutton

Catching up to the dwarves, Bilbo and I hid behind a tree. Fili and Kili had ducked down behind a nearby rock. We observed a massive troll stomp past us, carrying one pony under each arm. "He's got Myrtle and Minty now!" Bilbo gasped. "I think they're going to eat them. We have to do something."

Kili turned to him, his eyes revealing the presence of an idea in his head. "Yes, you should!" He hopped over to Bilbo's side and ushered him forward. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small. They'll never see you."

"Me?" Bilbo yelped. "N-No!"

"It's perfectly safe. We'll be right behind you."

"I will not—"

"If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl," Kili instructed.

They pushed Bilbo towards the fire before he could say anything else. I stayed back to keep an eye on the hobbit. "Are you sure this is safe?" I asked. "I mean..." Turning, there was no sign of the dwarf brothers. "Bloody hell."

Bilbo couldn't see any sign of the brothers either, so he panicked. "Where'd they go?!"

I waved a hand at him. "Just go try to free the ponies. I'll watch from a distance."

He was beyond nervous. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe you should come, too."

"I'm too tall. They'll see me no doubt. Just go."

He reluctantly inched towards the trolls.

I kept an eye on him from under the cover of the trees, carefully stepping closer to the fire-the one surrounded by the repulsive creatures.

Two trolls sat around the fire on which a cauldron of something was bubbling. One wore a dirty vest and the other wore an apron, presumably the cook. A third troll, the one carrying the ponies, dropped his catch into a pen with two other ponies-Daisy and Bongo! Then he roared, "Roast mutton yesterday, roast mutton today, and blimey, Bert, if it don't look like roast mutton again tomorrow!"

The cook sounded very annoyed. "Quit yer' griping, Tom! We're 'aving sheep!"

"Well, these ain't sheep. These is West Nags!"

The troll with the vest made a face of disgust. "Oh, I don't like 'orse. I never 'ave. Not enough fat on 'em."

"Well, better than that leathery old farmer. All skin and bone 'e was. I'm still picking bits of 'im out of me teeth." The troll with the vest suddenly sneezed into the pot boiling over the fire. "Oh, that's lovely, that is, William. A floater!"

"Oh, might improve the flavor," Tom said.

"Ah! There's more where that came from!" William cheered.

William began to sneeze more, but Bert grabbed him by the nose, giving the unseen Bilbo a chance to get behind them. "Oh no, you don't!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" whined the sickly troll.

"Sit down!" Bert threw his companion to the ground.

After doing as told, William sneezed again, this time into a handkerchief. He sniffed for a long time.

Bilbo, who had by now reached the pen in which the ponies were held, attempted to untie the ropes. He paused to hide as William turned towards him. "I 'ope you're going to gut these nags. I don't like the stinky parts."

Bert hit William with his ladle, making him squeal. "I said sit down!" Bert yelled.

I stifled a laugh.

"I'm starving!" Tom complained. "Are we 'aving 'orse tonight or what?"

"Shut your cakehole. You'll eat what I give ya'!"