Starkid Oneshots

Jeff Blim -Quarantine Haircut

"Hey everybody!" Jeff says, as the Instagram live turns on. His phone propped up on a makeshift tripod of boxes and random household items. "We're on! We're LIVE"

"Hi!" I say to the camera, walking up behind him and putting my hands on his shoulders as he sits in the chair, bending down slightly so that I can be seen on camera. There was already a lot of people watching and the chat was moving quickly. Jeff spent a minute or so responding to some of the people asking for shout-outs and asking questions with me watching him on the phone screen. After a bit he claps his hands together, startling me as I must have zoned out. I jump slightly and he laughs at me, turning around to look as I shake my head, a grin is plastered on his face.

"OK then!" he says,"let's get into it. Um, if you missed the post about it, we said a couple of days back if you donated a little bit of money, you could vote on the haircut that I'm going to get" he said and paused for a second, reading through some of the chat. "Umm, yeah. So any money raised from this will be going directly to charities supporting front line workers during this weird time." He said and I nodded my head from behind him. "And it's also kind of a win-win, because SHE" he points an accusatory finger at me as I'm standing behind him "Has been asking me to cut my hair for ages. She just doesn't understand." He grumps and I can see people popping off in the chat so I butt in.

"That is not true!" I say, "Don't listen to him, people. He knows that I think he's cute no matter what his hair looks like. It's just that with the beard you're looking more and more like Jesus every day and I don't think I've been to church enough in my life for that kind of thing. Besides, it's for a good cause!" I look down at him and I can see that he's grinning at the phone. "Oh and also, a lot of you were saying in the comments that you were worried about it looking bad so I just want to reassure you, I am a qualified hairdresser. So I know what I'm doing." I look back at the chat but can't quite read it as it's moving so quickly. "So, shall we get going?" I ask and he nods his head, faking fear for the camera.

"What did they choose Honey?" he asks, in an overly excited voice, doing that big,toothy, slightly psychotic grin that he does. 

"All right, so we gave the people who donated a little bit of money the opportunity to vote on 1 of 2 photos. Thanks to everyone who did, we're so thrilled to be able to donate it! But these were the options. One's a Trail to Oregon era hair style and the other is more an AVPSY cut." Jeff is looking at the camera with his eyebrows raised, he doesn't know the results yet either. "And the winning haircut is. . ." I say in my best game-show host voice, Jeff does a vigorous drum roll in anticipation.

"Trail to Oregon!" I yell and he lets out a long cheer. We laugh together and watch as the comments come rolling in thick and fast. "Oh good, you guys seem to agree, that's awesome. Right then, should we get going?" I ask, picking up my hair scissors and pointing them at him. He agrees and I get started, mapping out where my cuts were going to be. 

"We're going to be answering some of your questions while she does that" he says, waving his hands gesturing to his hair. I make the first snip and hand it to him. He looks at it and laughs. "Wow that's a lot of hair" he says in disbelief, holding it up to the phone. I nod in agreement "Ok well, this will be on ebay later" he jokes and I chuckle. "Right, now, let's get on to the questions" he begins to read out the questions and we answer them. There's the usual questions that you'd expect to get. Jeff's favourite character he's played, my favourite Starkid show and character and some other really interesting questions. At one point he started laughing so hard that he threw his head forward. 

"Babe stop moving, I could have cut you! Pointy things in my hand very close to your head, it would not go well" I laugh, grabbing his shoulder gently.

"Sorry. Blame it on Meredith, she just offered an obscene amount of money for my hair." he says

"ahh Meredith, it's all your fault" I say and then my eyes go wide and my mouth falls open "Thanks Hermione!" I say, leaning into the camera. I laugh, and continue "Also, I love you, I miss you, please call me soon babe!" I say, blowing a kiss into the camera. It takes a couple of seconds and then I see a reply from her saying something equally gushy and gross back to me. I go back and do the final finishing bits of the haircut as Jeff answers a couple more questions. 

"And I think that you're done,my dear!" I say, moving around to the front to check the levels one more time. "You look very handsome". He leans in to the phone in an attempt to see himself better and I pick up a mirror from the table for him.

"Hey, I think it looks good!" he says "What do you all think?" he asks, and we stop to read the comments for a minute. "They like it!" he cheers and I clap my hands.

"Yay! I told you all that I wasn't going to mess it up." I say.

"Good work honey" he says as he looks up at me. I nod in thanks, saying I'm glad he likes it. "Okay" he continues "well, we've been live for ages and it's all finished now so I think we're going to sign off now. Thank you to all those who donated and to the people who asked questions. So yeah, we'll see you guys later! Bye!"

"Stay safe! Bye everybody!" I chime in and he soon ends the live. He turns to me after he ends it, grinning up at me again.  

"Alright, that went well." he said. 

"Yes it did. You look very handsome" I say to him "Now, let's get all of this hair of the floor" I laugh and he agrees, standing up and going to collect the brush and shovel. I can't help but grin at him as he goes.