Keep us Quiet

Chapter 8

"James, Steven, come join us for dinner" Steve heard Mr. Barnes' voice. He jumped back in surprise, distancing himself from Bucky, and frantically looked around the room for Richard.

"No, don't worry, it's just the intercom." Bucky reassured him pointing to a small metal plate on the wall that Steve had originally thought was just some weird light switch.

"But he can't hear us right?" Steve checked, glancing nervously at the speaker.

Bucky shook his head, "Not unless you press the button. It's kinda like a walkie talkie."

"Oh thank god" Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

Bucky bit his lip and his eyes shifted off to the side, "So, um, we aren't going to tell anyone about this, right? I can't have my family finding out" He said. "Nothing against you!" He added quickly. "It's just I don't want them to know I'm gay."

Steve shook his head, "Don't worry. I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone about me being gay either" He fiddled with his fingers. His heart was still pounding.

Bucky smiled, "Well in the meantime, do you maybe want to go out sometime?"

Steve felt a burst of excitement, "Yes, I'd love to" He tried to keep his voice steady, hoping he didn't sound too anxious.

Bucky smiled again, which made Steve smile. "Great, I will text you" He nodded, then his eyes glanced to the door, "I guess we should go downstairs now"

Steve nodded in agreement, although he didn't feel like facing his family right now. He wanted to just stay alone with Bucky where he could be himself, and not have to put on a formal act. All he wanted to do was kiss him again and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist. But he couldn't. He had responsibilities. He sighed and followed Bucky out the door.

Their families were already seated around the dining room table by the time they got there. Their fathers each sat at the head of the long black wood table covered in a pure white table cloth. Their wives by their side, sitting up straight in their hard wood chairs, their napkins placed delicately on their laps. Steve and Bucky sat on the same side as Becca, their places set up with silverware, and napkins folded into small cones. Steve found himself next to his father and across from his mother, but he had Bucky right next to him which made him feel better.

As soon as they were all settled, a door behind him burst open, and a few well dressed men filed out, their arms supporting trays of food. They set a plate of caesar salad in front of each of them and offered to grate Parmesan cheese on top of it. Steve felt like he was in a restaurant rather than someone's house. Bucky, however, acted like this was completely normal. Steve wondered if dinner at his house was always like this.

While they politely ate their salads, the adults chatted, mostly about politics and other boring subjects. Steve pretended to be focused on the conversation, making a few head nods in agreement. But really all his attention was focused on Bucky, who sat so close to him that he could almost feel the heat radiating off of him. He could have sworn that Bucky's knee brushed his, but he tried to ignore it, hoping he wasn't visibly blushing.

The next round of food came out, this time it was a main course of some sort of fish. He wasn't the biggest fan of seafood, but he ate it anyways to be polite. He half listened to the conversation, which had now turned to Rebecca who was explaining some sort of technology she was developing.

"So, Steven," His head perked up when Mrs. Barnes started to talk to him, "What are your interests?"

"Oh uh," All eyes were on him now, and he gladly took a break from pretending to enjoy the fish, "I like art, Drawing mostly." He told them.

His dad took over, "Yes, yes, but you should see this boy behind a podium! He is a fantastic public speaker! Takes after me, I suppose, which is just wonderful, We expect big things from him, perhaps involving the White House." The governor gave him a slap on the back.

Steve gave a weak smile, his father always said how much of a great speaker he was and how he wanted Steve to get into politics. He thought Steve's art was merely a hobby and a waste of time. Steve had tried to tell him before that he wasn't interested in politics, but his father just laughed it off saying he would change his mind.

"Oh that's lovely. I'm sure politics could use a fresh handsome face like yours." Mr. Barnes grinned, "Speaking of which, there must be some special girl in your life, right? A young man like yourself must be swarmed with them"

Steve tensed up, a blush creeping along his cheeks. His eyes glanced quickly over to Bucky, "Uh- um well no" He stuttered.

"You would think so." His mother started, "I've tried dozens of times to set him up with my friends' daughters, but alas, Steven is a bit picky when it comes to girls."

"Mom!" Steve felt himself blushing more. This really wasn't a conversation he wanted to have when the boy he liked was sitting right next to him.

"Oh don't worry," Mrs. Barnes giggled, "It's perfectly understandable to have standards. Need to have someone perfect if they are going to be your First Lady!"

Suddenly the fish was starting to look really good right now, and he wanted to stuff his face with it so they would stop talking to him. Unfortunately that was considered rude, so he couldn't.

"Our James seems to have the same problem. He can never seem to get a girlfriend" Richard Barnes said, this time turning the embarrassment on his son, "Rebecca, on the other hand, seems to be attracting all the boys at her school" He chuckled.

"James just thinks he is too good for everyone." Becca teased her older brother.

"I do not." Bucky muttered, Steve could tell he was trying to contain himself, his body language was tight and tense. His knuckles were white from clenching his fork, trying to control his anger and maintain a dignified look. No one seemed to notice how he was feeling except Steve.

Trying not to overthink it, Steve made a brave move. He set his fork down like he had finished, and let his right hand reach under the table and grab Bucky's left, hidden by the draping tablecloth. Their fingers laced together, and Bucky's edge seemed to melt off, his shoulders relaxing.

Steve's heart was pounding again. It was a dangerous gesture, especially in front of their families, but no one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary as they kept chatting away. Once he realized that no one could tell they were holding hands, Steve could actually enjoy the feeling. Their was a sense of comfort in holding Bucky's hand. It felt like he had to be delicate or he would crush it like a piece of China. Bucky's hand was heavy and warm, and Steve didn't have any problem with holding it. It felt like the perfect size for Steve's large hand, and he didn't feel like he was engulfing it. Holding hands with Bucky was something he actually wanted to do. Something he made the choice to do.

They kept their hands interlocked with no problem until dessert, when the released each other to eat the lemon meringue pie that had been served. After they were all stuffed to the brim, it was Bucky's hand who found Steve's under the table. They kept their hands together, while the adults enjoyed some after dinner coffee and Becca talked about some award she had won.

When it was time to get up, their hands slipped from each other's and they stood like nothing had happened between them. Steve's family was escorted to the door as they parted ways, stating their goodbyes. One by one, Steve shook the Barnes family's hands, thanking them for dinner. He finished at Bucky, shaking his hand politely as if it was a foreign feeling. Finally they said their final goodbye and turned out the door where their car was waiting.