The boy next door

Chapter 19

I stumbled into the dark living room and felt the strong urge to break something.

"You're not the one to decide with who I hook up!", I yelled angrily. He really tries to get the best of me.

"Yes I do! Because I'm always the one who ends up cleaning up your mess!", he said, his voice sounding loudly in the living room. This just made me even angrier.

In that moment I saw the vase on the counter and grabbed it smashing it on the ground. He didn't even flinch.

"Then WHY don't you just leave me alone?", I screamed hoping we won't wake his mother. I would be very embarrassed.

But right now I was just hurt. His words hurt me and being not able to have him was tearing me apart. There was too much damage done.

"Because I can't!", he yelled throwing his hands in the air, "I can't stop worrying about you!"

"Why do you care, Jungkook?", I yelled back, my cheeks wet from the tears, "WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?"

No answer. He just looked at me desperately. The pain seemed to rip me apart and I gave up. I broke down crying and fell to the ground. I supported myself on my hands and the broken pieces of glass cut the palms of my hand.

I cried out because of the pain and held my hands to my chest terrified. How could this evening go so wrong? He hastened towards me and kneeled down in front of me.

He pulled me on my feet by my arms and took my hands into his. "I'm sorry", he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

He carefully led me to the sink in the kitchen and cleaned my wounds. It burned like hell and I bit my lower lip to suppress the pain.

He lifted me on top of the counter by my waist and rested his hands on my thighs.

"I'm sorry. I went too far", he apologised in a low voice and I could swear that his eyes were glistening because he was on the verge of crying.

"It's okay. It's my fault", I said still sobbing, "I'm sorry I broke your vase."

"I hated it anyway", he said making me chuckle. He reached behind me and pulled out plasters.

He gently applied them to the cuts on my skin. His soft touch sent a wave of electricity through my body.

"Thank you", I whispered and put my hands down. He was standing between my legs and was so close to me that I could feel his breath on my skin.

I saw every detail of his perfect imperfect face which I loved so much, even though it was almost completely dark around us. I felt the alcohol still rushing through my veins and I didn't stop myself from what I really wanted to do.

I lifted my hand and cupped his cheek in my hand. His face softened and he gently leaned into the palm of my hand. I brushed my thumb over his cheek and a small tear escaped the corner of my eye.

"Thank you", I repeated. I didn't know how this could continue between the two of us, but I wasn't ready to give him up as my friend.

I leaned in and placed a light kiss on his other cheek.

Jungkook's POV

For a short second, I was going to tell her everything. About my feelings. About my unconditional love for her. But the fear to lose her forever took over and I stayed silent. Maybe the biggest fault I have ever made.

I just didn't have the guts to tell her the truth. And I hated myself the most for it. She was so hurt, but I didn't know because of what.

When she cut herself with the pieces of glass on the floor because of -... because of me, I knew I had to fight my feelings and never let her go. No matter how much she pushes me away and no matter how much it hurts me to see her with a different guy, I had to stay by her side and protect her at all costs.

I wanted so badly to kiss her when she was so close and vulnerable to me. And when she leaned in to peck my cheek, I realised there was hope in this cruel world.

She breathed new life into me and I couldn't see a future without her anymore. I could only live with her by his side.

I had changed for her. I have stopped with the parties and the girls. Just for her. And she didn't notice. I had to try until she notices and... sees it.

Y/N's POV

He picked me up bridal style and laid me gently down on the couch. "You can rest here while I clean this up", he instructed me, "and after that I can take you home."

I grabbed his hand and stopped him from turning around. "Can I... can I stay here?", I asked timidly and quickly added, "of course I can sleep on the couch and-"

"Of course, you can", he said seeming to struggle with something, "and you'll sleep in my room."

"But, I-", I wanted to protest but he has already disappeared in the kitchen. I laid back on the couch and sighed letting out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"You want to watch something?", he asked as he returned with the cleaning utensils and bent down to clean up the mess I made.

He wasn't wrong when he said he always ended up cleaning my mess.

"Ahh!", he cursed under his breath before I could answer.

"What happened?", I asked jumping off the couch and rushed to him.

"It's nothing", he said regarding the blood running down his finger.

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault", I said guiding him to the kitchen and treated him, just as he did fifteen minutes ago.

"It's okay. Stop apologising", he said chuckling and searched my eyes. We held the eye contact for a while and a small smile played on his lips.

I knew I already went too far with the kiss on his cheek but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to stop myself. I took his large hand in mine, lifted it to my face and gently placed a kiss on his injured finger.