Hour Before Dawn

Chapter 19

"What can we expect from this then, Doc?" Mr. Son asked. "My daughter can still recover from this, though, right?"

The surgeon let out a subtle long breath before answering the question. "We'll be doing all that we can to increase her chances of waking up and recovering from this, Mr. Son. For the next while, we're gonna have to wait and see if she is still able to regain consciousness."

"If?" Bin asked as he frowned.

The surgeon nodded and he felt as though his world just fell apart again.

After talking to the surgeon, they found themselves back in the ICU. Ye-jin was, once again, connected to all the tubes and wires in a sea of medical equipment. Looking at her now, one could tell that she's in a worse state than she was after the first heart surgery. She was in a state of comatose with no guarantee of when and if she will regain consciousness.

Bin sat on a chair by her bed, his hand holding hers and feeling the coldness that radiated throughout her body. Her internal temperature was controlled at a lower number in an attempt to decrease the chances of brain damage from the lack of oxygen after her cardiac arrest.

In the best case scenario, Ye-jin was expected to wake up within twenty-four hours after rewarming, but almost two days has passed and there was not a single sign of life from her.

Bin stayed by her side. He waited for her to lace her fingers with his like she always did, or even just give it a little squeeze, but there was nothing. Not even a flinch. One week later, Ye-jin has not moved a single muscle, has not made a sound, has not opened her eyes, has not breathed on her own since that night.

"She said it wasn't too late to make it up to her," Mr. Son said out of the blue while they sat quietly beside her bed. "But, is it not, Bin? Did I lose my chance already?"

Bin looked at him and saw so much pain in his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He could see the struggle in her father's eyes and he could hear it in his voice.

"I want her to live, Binssi," Mr. Son said without taking his eyes off his daughter. "I want my Ye-jinssi to live. I don't know if I can ever move on from this if she doesn't wake up again."

Ye-jin's father wiped his tears while Bin lowered his head and closed his eyes, hoping it would stop the tears from falling. He couldn't bear the thought of his fiancée not waking up again.

"What they say is true," her dad continued softly. "Regret comes at the end."

He was just beginning to mend his relationship with his daughter, to finally be included in her life, but all of that was at a standstill while she lays there unconscious. Just as he was ready to stay with her, to be the father she never had.

"I wasted all those years of not being in her life, Bin," Mr. Son said as his eyebrows met in frustration with himself. "I wasted decades to be the father she should have had, and now that I'm here, she's not."

His tears came pouring out if his eyes, showing the immense regret and pain that he felt inside. "I can see her, but I can't feel her. I can't hear her voice, I can't hear her laugh. I'm holding her but I can't feel my daughter's presence, Binssi," Mr. Son said while he sobbed quietly, his hand tightly holding on to Ye-jin.

"I don't know what hurts more," he continued. "Losing my wife so quickly to this disease, or watching my daughter lay unconscious with no guarantee of ever waking up again and having to make that difficult decision to give her up?"

Bin's tears were flowing nonstop on his face as he looked at Ye-jin's current state.

Don't let go of me. Her voice echoed in his mind. He could still remember the look in her eyes when she said those words, hours before her heart stopped.