Memoir of a Gemini

All You Can Eat Crab

This story is one from about 3 years ago. I was in the first year of dating my current boyfriend (The Virgo). At this time we were in college. I was in a sorority. He was in a fraternity. His fraternity always held parties on week night and like the college kids we were, we ALWAYS attended. But before you go get blacked out drunk you gotta prepare and eat a big as meal so you don't drink on an empty stomach. Well at the time my boyfriend worked at the local Joe's Crab Shack which also happened to be my favorite restaurant. It also happened to be a Wednesday which meant ALL YOU CAN EAT CRAB. So prior to the frat party we decide to get all you can eat crab. I fucking love crab and when I say that I'm not joking. So that means nonstop eating crab for about 2-3 hours and we don't even leave because we're full. We left because we were going to be late to the party. So now we get to this frat party and it's the usual weekly ritual. See all our friends, take way too many shots and beer bongs, dance until about 2AM and then head home. My boyfriend lived in a fraternity "satellite house" which is pretty much just a house that a bunch of the frat guys lived in. So a bunch of us go home together and pass out. Well unfortunately for me, all you can eat crab and alcohol don't mix and at about 5AM I'm about to puke everywhere. Luckily my boyfriend's room has a sliding glass door that leads out to the side yard so I somehow drunkenly open the door and puke all over the side yard and the backyard (where a random middle-aged teacher that works at the university lives in their studio sized back-house). So I pretty much puke all over the patio of that random dude who lives in the backyard lol. The next morning we wake up to the back-house Weirdo pounding on the sliding glass door demanding my boyfriend to clean up all the crab and alcohol I spewed out onto the side yard. And from that night on, after every single night we drink at all, my boyfriend will leave a trash can next to my side of the bed so he doesn't have to clean up my puke again. And I have not mixed crab with alcohol since!

~The Gemini