If I Take That Chance

She is In My Shirt 2

I was right, he looked so good in blue and I was glad that I measured everything right, the shirt clung nicely on his body, defining his broad chest perfectly. I checked the shirt one more time for any flaws and when I lifted up my gaze, I caught his brown eyes staring at me longingly.

"What is it?" I asked nervously, I thought he wanted to tell me something important, something that I desperately needed to hear right now. I could see it but he seemed to change his mind, he shook his head and thanked me for making him a shirt instead.

My heart sank, I thought I was ready to hear it. After that kiss, I suddenly wanted him to be more than a friend. I always shut him down in the past, every time he wanted to bring the subject up I always manoeuvred the conversation somewhere else but this time I really wanted him to say it but he didn't.

I excused myself to visit my bedroom to wipe few drops of tears that stubbornly wanted to come out. I felt stupid, so stupid that I missed the chance to have him in the past. Him among all the men that I have ever dated, he was the best, the perfect man I have encountered in my life and I threw away the opportunity that was right in front of my nose. And now I wanted him? I didn't deserve him.....

"Sam?" he called my name and stood right outside my bedroom as if there was an invisible wall in front of it, he must see my face when I left him in my living room earlier.

I turned around to look at him and gave him a small smile, "I am okay." I said.

"You don't look okay." He didn't believe me and strolled forward to enter my bedroom to take my hands in his. "Tell me what's wrong?"

I lowered my gaze, staring blankly at our entangled fingers then shook my head, "nothing..."

He sighed and let my hand go but tilted my chin up gently instead, "Please tell me? Did I do something wrong?"

I couldn't help but shedding more tears after seeing his face. He loved me; I knew it clearly, as bright as a day light. But why didn't he want to tell me? Had he changed his mind?

Oh god.... I bit my lips. I knew I could just tell him how I felt about him but I was too scared, too scared that I was too late. I couldn't take rejection anymore. I had enough of them, I always dated the wrong guys and they ended up ditched me and I couldn't take it if he did the same thing to me right now. I wouldn't survive if I lost the only best friend I had.

"Hey..." he wiped my tears with his thumb and again asking me if he did something wrong.

"I... you kissed me..." I finally opened my mouth, barely breathed the words that turned his face pale.

"What? When......" he trailed off, his eyes rounded as he slowly regained his memory. "No....." he whispered and my chest hurt. Did he just regret it?

"I am sorry...." He took my hands again and pulled me against his chest, "I am sorry.... I didn't mean to hurt you like this."

How could he say that he hurt me? I didn't understand him, our kiss was amazing and he touched me so gently. "I'm okay." I looked up at him and met his sad eyes. "Please tell me what you dreamt about?" I asked him and he was terrified.

"Please?" I pleaded, I really wanted to know, if he wanted to fix this mess then he had to tell me and he knew it because he let me go and sat quietly on the edge of my bed, thinking. He rested his elbows on his thighs and clasped his hands together, his face was down as if he was examining his feet.

My heart drummed faster at the view, he was on my bed and I tried my hardest not to follow him and sat next to him because I knew if I ever did that, I wouldn't be able to control myself not to do something daring than sitting still.