the reckless and the brave, peter hayes

chapter four.

"I didn't mean to," I begin to explain, my tone growing desperate. "I just got sucked in, and then things felt civil for once and... I don't know, Tris, I'm just confused."

She looks between both my eyes, searching for something that I'm scared she won't find. "He's mean, and arrogant, and doesn't care about anyone else but himself," she says seriously, though her voice is a soft whisper. "How can you forget the stunt he pulled on the first day, or the fact that he made you so angry that you had to hit him with a plate to get him to leave you alone?"

"I didn't forget it, any of it," I insist. I know how it all looks, I know I look foolish... and I realize now that it is my peacekeeping ways that has brought me here; I'm so desperate to stop the conflict that I have actually convinced myself everything is fine with Peter, right?

Her eyes soften slightly, and she takes another step closer. There's hesitation again before she reaches out to squeeze my shoulder. Touching amongst the Abnegation is rare, so I smile. "I'm just looking out for you, you know that, right?"

I nod my head slowly, staring into her eyes. "I know, Tris."

"You were my first friend here, Emmi. I've never... I've never had a friendship like this. And maybe I'm overstepping by getting involved in this, but I can't lose my first friend. Not to Peter."

I would hug her if I knew it wouldn't make her uncomfortable, but I have a feeling we aren't quite there yet. Still, I can't stop the smile that spreads across my cheeks, and I think that is confirmation enough between the both of us that we're on the same page.

"Back to it, ladies," Eric shouts, and without hesitation, we get back into our sparring stance.

Another half hour of warm up passes us by before Four calls us all in, gesturing to an old chalkboard that has each of our names on it. We seem to be paired up, and I'm with Tris.

"Ugh, I've got the Tank," Christina whines, turning to Tris and I.

"The Tank?" I ask, trying not to laugh.

Tris gives Christina a warning look, but that doesn't stop her from talking. I guess we're all struggling a bit to let go of our former factions.

"She's built like one. She'll probably squash me within the first five minutes."

I look over as Will and Al step up to the ring, Al looking especially nervous despite his clear advantage over Will. I remember what he told me yesterday, how he didn't think he could attack someone for no reason. I wonder if this will change anything.

"You two are lucky. At least you're about the same size," Christina continues, her eyes darting over to where Molly stands in between Drew and Peter.

I follow her gaze and find myself watching them, quickly looking away once I realize what I'm doing. I suck in a deep breath and try to keep myself focused, so I look back to the fight with Will and Al.

They continue to circle around the ring, tentatively watching each other. After a few moments of neither taking a jab, Eric seems to grow antsy — I swear, he acts like he only comes to our training sessions to see blood. "Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!" He demands.

Al hesitates again, before lowering his hands. "Is this scored? When does the fight end?"

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," Eric says.

Four steps in, his arms crossed over his chest. "One of you could also concede, but it won't do you any favours in ranking."

Eric frowns at Four, shaking his head. "That's according to the old rules. In the new rules, no one concedes."