Sweet like sugar, Bitter like coffee.

Chapter 11

Guilt is truly something horrible. It can make a person feel overwhelmed to the point that death is pleasant. John's full of that, filled to the brim.

He can't help but pinch himself to make sure that he wasn't in a dream-- or rather, a nightmare. No, no, no, no... Goodness no. He's been like a ghost the whole trip, dazed. He didn't even react when Ren pinched his cheeks.

He's like a hollow shell at this point, he forces a smile onto his face. He's slowly regaining the ability to speak and be aware of his surroundings. "Sorry, I just... was thinking about something." He tries to push the thought away.

It's no use thinking about that, so he just shoves everything to the back of his head. He's tired of everything, he's so fucking horrible. Isn't he... a monster as well? Hasn't he always been a monster?

They finished delivering just in time but damn, the timing was too perfect.

Arlo, he saw Arlo. There's no way he can't tell the way his blond hair move, with the intense stare of the light blue eyes. Oh god, might as well just give himself up. But, it's not just him, there is these two idiots. He promised Valentina that he'll take care of her right?

Then he can't hand himself in. He made a promise.

Remi, Seraphina, and Blyke, accompanied with Arlo. Damn. They make a good team, but it's a shame that he had to hurt Arlo. He feels horrible, but he had no choice. He broke through the barrier, earning a pain cry from Arlo.

Oh god. Oh god.

He can't remember what Ren said, nor what Valentina did, or what he thought.

Run? Was it run?

It was.

He pulled Valentina and Ren by the arm and dragged them along. Seraphina was chasing after them in hot pursuit, but Ren threw a smoke bomb and managed to help them escape.

Oh good god. He can't imagine the look on Arlo's face when he finds out that John, The person, who helped him, the person who became his friend, lover even, ruined his life...

He's horrible.

But, if he doesn't find out, then everything will be okay. John forced a smile onto his face, yes. Everything will be okay-- if he doesn't find out.

"John, I think something's terribly wrong." Valentina said, "You can tell me you know."

John's smile instantly turned into a frown, "It's-- it's all good... it's fine! Uh--"

Ren butted in, "No, obviously, it's not fine. Have you seen yourself back there? You were about to get us killed."

John bit his lips, "Well... okay fine." He pulled out a single handwritten sheet from the pile, Arlo's sheet. He pointed at the child on it. "That's-- my boyfriend." He choked out.

"Wait what?!" Valentina shouted, she pointed at the paper, "That, is your boyfriend?!"

John sadly nodded, "I killed his parents and now his life is miserable."

"Oh. I see... that's why." Ren muttered. "That must be... hard for you to take in."

"Yes... it is. I just-- hate myself. I thought-- I thought I was helping everyone clense the world by-- no. I'm not." John swallowed down his guilt.

"What do you mean by that?" Valentina asked, John gave her a questioning look.

"Does, does killing him make the world a better place?"