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51. True Colors

Abel

I felt like an absolute fucking clown the moment I found out about them. I didn't expect everyone on my team to freak out about it and start being shady about the whole ordeal until Sal strolled into the studio booth and paused the recording I was working on.

Justin Bieber had posted throwback pictures of him and Sel on instagram, making the whole internet have a breakdown. I tried blocking it out but Sal wouldn't shut up about it. The whole crew had posted shit like "Whatever" on posts about it. They even posted pics of me on my own account and disabled the comments.

Of course I made them delete that shit. I blocked out Cash and tried to focus on the song I was trying to write. It was a last minute song I wrote last night for Starboy. It was a finished album going through last minute productions but now I had to halt it to make this song.

My eyebrows knit together in concentration as I write down lyrics that express my feelings about everything.

Tell me the truth
Babygirl who else been with you?
It's gon come to my attention either way

I can't believe I actually trusted her. I told her about my dating history and I swore she did with hers. I thought we were getting close. She only lied to me.

And I understand
Babygirl we all have a past
I'd much rather hear the truth come straight from you.

Why couldn't she just tell me the truth? Why did she have to lie about what happened to my face like that? A simple "yeah I dated Justin at one point" would of been fine with me. But no, she had to lie.

I've been hearing different stories

She should have just been honest. How much did it cost her? I asked her and she told me lies. Shit I'm getting mad. I start furiously writing down lyrics that come to mind and snap a pencil in half. I grunt and throw it across the room before getting another.

Girl, come show me your true colors
Paint me a picture with your true colors
These are the questions of a new lover
True colors, true colors

I just wish she would of told me. I didn't even care about the fact that she dated him. I cared more about her telling me and not lying to me. I poured my heart out to her that night. I trusted her to be honest with me like I was with her. Instead I get fed lies and now I'm caught up into a stupid mess I never asked to be apart of.

What's done is done
Now that I'm the only one
If you tell me I'll accept what you've been through

I ignore my phone constantly ringing. It's probably everyone messaging asking me about the situation and wanting to know what I feel.

And I don't believe all this inconsistency
I've been hearing different stories about you

I finish writing the song and signal to my track recorder to come over and review the song. I ignore my team who's consulting and trying to come up with solutions. I role my eyes like if it's a big deal. It's not. I choose to ignore their decisions and forget about Selena as I record 'True Colors.'

***

Selena

"Thank you! Thank you!" I wave goodbye at the audience as I walk backstage. The first few crew members run over and take the microphone from me. I just finished singing Hands To Myself at SNL. "You were amazing!" Ronda runs over to me quickly, praising me for my performance. We hold hands for a second as I thank her for having me. I wave goodbye and head towards my dressing room.