MUSE | Taeyong

22: Desperate

 You pulled the corgi patterned blanket around you and sipped some hot chocolate, while Olivia was retrieving the cheese Pringles from her pantry. You clicked on the television and scrolled what to watch on Netflix.

"Hey, Livy!"

"What!" she shouted from the back of the kitchen.

"Can we watch the Purge?!" you yelled as you read through the description.

"The fuck! NO!" Olivia said as she walked back in her penguin onesie into the living room.

"I'm the one who's suffering from a break-up, bitch! I get to choose the movie and I want to scream my ass off!"

"Y/n, I don't think that's what you're supposed to do after a breakup? Aren't you supposed to watch the Notebook while in tears and a tub of ice cream in your hands?" she questions as she plops down on the couch.

You look around exaggeratedly. "The Notebook? Nope, watching the Purge. Tears? Already cried out. Ice cream? I think fuck not, I want cheesy Pringles."

"Fine, fine. Whatever." Olivia grumbles as she stuffs several cheese pringles into her mouth.

The day you had turned up on Olivia's doorstep, bags in hand and tears streaming from red-rimmed eyes, she had graciously allowed you to stay with her. Days and days were spent with you crying in her arms, probably going through 3 tissue boxes and ice cream tubs. You were absolutely devastated after packing up and abandoning Taeyong, wondering if it was the right thing to do and if you were a horrible person for doing so.

Olivia dismissed your worries, stating you were totally in the rights and proclaimed "good riddance!" while stomping on a Polaroid of you and Taeyong at Hyde Park.

You were still devastated of course, even after several weeks. The ache in your heart wouldn't go away no matter how many tubs of ice cream you stuffed down your throat, and a permanent frown was always fixed in place. You missed the red-haired man with all your soul, even if you abandoned him with no warning and quite callously. You blocked his number, his email, his social media, everything you could think of to completely cut him out of your life. Photos of him were trashed and the gifts given to you by him were still in the apartment.

But at the very least, from this complete purge and detox of your life, came something that you had always wanted to do but never could do.

You switched degrees.

You woke up one day and said, fuck it, and went to the administration to completely switch departments.

Yes, it was extremely sudden. Uncharacteristically sudden of you, the girl who was afraid to go out with her friends on a school night. Too sudden of the girl that was afraid to skip class and skive off with her friends. Maybe it wasn't the best decision to make such an important decision on the fly, but at this point, you didn't care. You wanted to live the way you wanted, the way you needed, and all fucks that were given were thrown carelessly to the wind.

Soon enough, you were transferred into the appropriate classes to obtain a degree in Fine Arts, even taking some classes with Olivia. Your parents were understandably furious, shouting at you over the phone for wasting their money and wrecking your future. Your father, after a long rant that lasted almost 30 minutes, spitefully told you he wasn't going to support this "destructive behavior" and wouldn't pay for your next semesters. While you were sad that you and your parent's relationship would probably be strained for the next few years, you were the happiest you could remember being. The royalties from Taeyong's paintings you earned could pay your tuition a few times over, so you were stable. You finally could do what you wanted.