REMDY ONE SHOTS

☾When They Call My Name☾

I was feeling pretty sad, so I wrote this to get some of my emotions out. I apologize if it's shit, I wrote this at 3am after not sleeping for 2 days.

Summary: Andy's depression gets pretty bad at night and Remington comforts him until the bad thoughts pass

***********************************
((Italics are Andy's thoughts))

~Andy's POV~

I roll over and look at the clock next to my bed.

2:18am.

Great job, Andy. Another night awake for no fucking reason.

My mind won't leave me alone tonight, and it's making me feel so fucking sad and depressed.

I look next to me and see my boyfriend Remington sleeping peacefully.

You know you don't deserve him. He's too good for your pathetic emotional ass.

I really wish my brain would shut up. I just want to be happy for once in my life, and feel like I'm good enough.

You'll never be good enough. You're too skinny, but if you gain any weight you'll be too fat and then there's no way anyone will love you. You're just a fuck up who can't do anything right.

The voices in my head are making it even harder to sleep, and the things they're telling me are shattering my heart even more that it already is. My heart is broken beyond repair at this point.

You deserve to feel this. You're a worthless piece of shit.

I can't even count how many times I've heard that from people. All I am is a worthless piece of shit. I don't deserve to live, or breathe, or to be loved. I deserve to be alone and depressed. I deserve to die.

Just give it up, Andy. You'll never make it out of this. You're too weak.

Get up and kill yourself right now. Hurry, while Remington's asleep. That way maybe you'll actually succeed at something for once.

That thought sends me over the edge. I curl up in bed and break down in tears, pulling the blanket up over my head and burying my face in my pillow.

I try to cry quietly so I don't wake up Remington, but it's really hard to keep quiet when all I want to do is scream.

A few minutes pass before I feel Remington roll over and pull me into his arms. I try to stop crying, but being in his arms only makes me cry harder, making it impossible to stay quiet. I don't deserve affection from him.

"What's wrong, baby? Why're you crying?" Remington whispers as he holds me tighter.

Great job dumbass. You woke him up. All you do is fuck up peoples lives. You're a piece of fucking shit, Andy. No wonder no one loves you.

As much as I want to tell him what's wrong, my mind won't let me. So instead, I turn towards him and wrap my arms around him as tight as I can, hiding my face in his chest and sobbing my heart out into his shirt. I know I don't deserve love or affection, but I need it too much to be able to pull myself away from him. That, and I don't have the energy to.

Remington carefully sits up with me in his arms and pulls me onto his lap, holding me tighter. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder, still sobbing into him.

Remington gently rubs my back and whispers comforting things to try to calm me down, but I'm beyond calming down right now. Instead I just cry harder to the point where I can't breathe.

"Sweetheart you really need to calm down a little. You're gonna make yourself sick if you keep crying like this" Remington whispers and kisses my head.

I try to stop crying, but all the thoughts running through my head are just making me feel even worse, making it seem impossible for me to calm down.

The thoughts in my head start to get even worse, making me cling to Remington even tighter, and cry harder than I've ever cried before. My head hurts from crying so hard, and my eyes burn from the tears.

"I love you so much, baby. Whatever's making you upset, we'll work through it together. I'm not going anywhere. I know you're scared that I'm gonna leave you, and that you think you're not good enough, but I promise you I'm never leaving you. You're perfect in my eyes. Every single little thing about you is perfect. I love everything about you. There's not a thing I would change. You're so special to me, and I love you more than anything else in the world. You're my everything, Andy. Don't ever forget that" he whispers softly and kisses my head again while still rubbing my back.

I think he realized what I'm so upset about. This isn't the first time he's had to comfort me while I cry like this at 2am. He knows where my mind goes at times like this, and he does whatever he can to remind me that the voices are wrong.

After crying for a while longer, I start to calm down and stop crying so hard. Once I fully stop crying, Remington pulls away slightly and carefully dries my tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Do you feel better now?" He asks as he pulls me into another hug.

"I guess. I'm sorry if I scared you by breaking down like that. My mind started wandering and kept telling me everything wrong with me and pointing out all my insecurities, and it made me want to die. I wanted to die, Remi. But you woke up hugged me before I could do anything. You saved me." I whisper, my voice raspy from all the crying.

"I love you, Andy. I'll always be here to save you" he says and holds me tighter.

"I love you too, Rem." I whisper as I finally fall asleep in his arms.