justinngbuhaymo11:
Medical City.
axltristansy:
Make her stay. I'll pick her up.
justinngbuhaymo11:
That's why I messaged you, pare.
I can't exactly drive right now, can I?
I closed the app and headed in the direction of The Medical City, involuntarily thinking about the last time I was on my way there. Like an avalanche, memories of my mom's lifeless body suddenly came rushing back to me, making my hands grow cold.
The car behind me almost crashed onto my rear bumper when I abruptly stepped on the brakes, earning me a mouthful of well-deserved curses and dirty fingers from its four passengers.
I stayed in the middle of the highway for literal minutes, unable to sum up the courage to step on the gas pedal and move forward.
I can't get her out of my mind.
Her smell.
Her brown eyes.
Her soft, plump lips.
I can't think straight just picturing her.
Still, my entire body won't cooperate and won't fucking move to get myself to her.
Fuck.
I turned the car around and headed back where I came from, all the while cursing myself for being a fucking coward.
When I got back to my unit, I wasn't at all surprised to see Nica there, too. She was at the counter, still in her work clothes, eating the take-out she brought me earlier.
She looked at me with mournful eyes. "You used to like it when I bring you food," she whispered, her voice brittle.
Even when she didn't mention it, I knew that she just cried.
I threw my keys on the console and walked inside. "Yeah, I loved you then," I said as I walked past her. I don't exactly feel for her right now after everything that just happened.
"Hindi mo na ba talaga 'ko mahal?" she asked, following me with her eyes and looking morose.
"No," I answered without hesitation.
How many times do we have to go through this fucking conversation?
"You don't have to be mean. Baka nakakalimutan mo . . . we're engaged," she said indignantly.
I scoffed. She may be one of the smartest people I know, but she's terrifyingly naive. "No, we are not. Bobo ka ba?" tanong ko. "I am not an inanimate object that my mom can just give away, so wake up from your hallucinations and get out of my place," I lashed out, getting a can of beer from the fridge.
"We are engaged, Axl. Forget about Tita Priscilla's Will. My parents and your dad already agreed to it," she insisted, her face hard and expressionless.
"My dad doesn't have a say on my life, you understand?" I said, a little too harsher than I intended. Kung sunod-sunuran pa ako sa kanila noon dahil sa nanay ko . . . ngayon hindi na. I couldn't care less about the man. "I'd rather die than marry you."
She flinched at my choice of words, her lips trembling.
"You should really try and forgive your dad," Monica whispered. "Baka 'pag pati siya nawala sa iyo, saka mo lang ma-realize how alone you really are." And with that, she threw one last look at me and left.
How dare she ask me to forgive him? After everything he did and didn't do? She fucking knows the whole story!
Fuck them.
I was overclouded with emotion, it felt like my head was about to explode from feeling too much all at once. Grief over my mom. Anger towards my dad. Worry about Pat.
Pat. I shook my head at the thought of her. She was in a three-year relationship, but the guy didn't even kiss her. Samantalang ako, anong ginawa ko? I brought her to my fucking condo just like any lewd man would, and I hated that.
I am too messed up to even be with her.
I don't believe in destiny. I believe that our life is a consequence of every choice we make. And I realized that I don't want to dim her sun with my gray clouds. So, against my better judgment . . . I opened my Instagram again and messaged Justin.
axltristansy:
Sorry, dude. Won't make it.
Just look after Pat.
I know they were planning to pretend that they were back together to throw the other girl off. If you ask me, the plan is as lame as it gets. Hindi ko nga alam kung sinong malabnaw na utak ang nakaisip no'n.
But Justin is a better guy. If their plan works and he's able to keep his family safe and make Pat happy . . . then so be it.
I guess it's time to just set her free.
Maybe the reason why she kept slipping out of my grip is because she's not really mine to hold on to.
I guess it's time to realize that we really can't get everything we want no matter how much we desire it.
I like Pat. So much that I'm letting her go.
I guess it's time to just stop the chase.
30: Stop the Chase
Start from the beginning
