Fragile Bones

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Just eat the granola bar Madeline," Mr. Henderson said in a hushed tone, probably not wanting to cause any more of a scene than it already was. Little did he know, I didn't need food to sit through his class. I didn't need food for anything.

"No."

The entire class was staring at me with odd expressions now. I'm sure they were wondering why I didn't just quietly accept the bar like I normally would. Always hiding behind my hair, never saying a word to anyone. Content to live in her own little bubble and be subject to everyone's abuse. Maybe Asher was rubbing off on me, or maybe I was just getting sick of it. I know I certainly didn't have the courage to stand up to Lindsay or Spencer, but I was sure that I didn't want to take charity from this man.

I stood up, and grabbed my bag. I bumped into the desk on the way up which sent the granola bar teetering to the floor. It lay on the tiled floor, clearly broken in two pieces even though it was still in the wrapper. I marched out the door, not sparing a glance back at the class. No one tried to stop me, nor did I want them to. Knowing I couldn't skip the whole day, I decided to wait out the rest of this period and just go to my next class as if nothing ever happened.

I found the closest bathroom, making sure to stay out of teachers' lines of sights. Plopping my backpack next to a sink, I stood in front of the mirror. My lips were super chapped, and the bags under my eyes seemed to stretch on for miles. My hair was dull, despite the promise on the side of my shampoo bottle, and I looked paler than usual. My face was not pleasing to look at to say the least. However, my body seemed to be looking smaller than ever. I could see my collarbones pretty clearly, and the little bones in my wrists.

I wonder how much I weigh?

I hadn't stepped on a scale in a little bit, so I really wasn't sure. But it was comforting to see that I was losing weight.

A sharp pain shot through my stomach, making me nearly double over in pain. Another reminder of the cost I was taking to look like this. I sucked in a deep breath, and tried to think of something else for a few moments. When I tried, only one person came to my mind. I realized how much I missed seeing him at school, and talking to him, despite having just seen him last night. He seemed to bring me comfort, the only comfort in my life currently. With everything going on, thinking about him always managed to put a smile on my face.

Did I have a crush on him?

Just then the bathroom door swung open and hit the wall with a bang, and the sound of heels could be heard walking in. I didn't have time to run into a stall, so I really hoped it wasn't a teacher because I certainly didn't have a pass to be here. To my surprise, it was Lindsay. She threw me a look before sliding by me to the mirror next to me. It was silent. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as she plucked a tube of red lip gloss out of her bag, and set to applying it to her lips. Although I thought I was being pretty discreet about it, I guess it was obvious that I was looking because she turned to face me.

"Do you have a staring problem or something?" Lindsay asked, rather rudely. I shrugged and turned back to my own mirror, gripping the sides of the sink in front of me. The stomach pain was dissipating, but not completely gone. I didn't want to showcase what I was going through, so holding onto the sink until my knuckles turned white distracted me a little. My stomach made another noise, this time more of a gurgling than a growl. Lindsay's eyes panned down to my stomach for a quick second, but then back up to her mirror. "You should've taken that granola bar that Mr. Henderson gave you. You were disrupting the entire class. Thank god you left when you did because my presentation is next and I need a good grade."

"Why?"

She looked at me strangely, and responded, "Why what?"

I only realized that I didn't have an answer to that until after she had already asked. Or, to clarify, I had too many answers. Why was she talking to me, why she puts up with our teachers abuse, why she acts like the way she does. Instead of asking all these things at once, I settled for something more relevant to the discussion.

"Why do you need good grades?" I asked, tapping my fingernails on the sink. The sound echoed in the near-empty bathroom while the fluorescent lights twitched.

"Everybody needs good grades," she said simply. "It's kind of a fundamental thing to pass high school."

"You don't need straight A's though," I mumbled. "I guess you just never seemed like the type to care about grades."

She didn't respond, but put the wand back into the lip gloss tube with a squelch, and tossed it in her bag. Since she wasn't looking at me at the moment, I stole a glance at her. She was wearing a tank top, despite the cold weather, and skin tight jeans. It was an outfit I could never hope to pull off, but Lindsay was physically perfect in every way possible. I had heard that she had done some modeling stuff a few years ago, but that could've just been a rumor. Still, if it was true, it would be no shock to me. She fluffed her blonde hair, making sure it looked the best it could be. After all, she had everyone in the school looking up to her.

Lindsay sighed and stepped away from the sink, meeting my eyes. I tore my gaze away from her and back into the mirror and she started exiting the bathroom. "Here," I heard from behind me. I barely managed to turn around and catch the orange she threw at me. "You need it more than I do."

She left before I had a chance to protest or ask why she was giving it to me. Staring at the orange object, I rolled it back and forth between my palms, feeling the rough texture of the skin. It was a small one, so there wouldn't be very many calories. I weighed the pros and cons of eating it for a few moments. On one hand, there were calories in it, and calories made you fat. On the other hand, I didn't want to go through the entire day having my stomach interrupt lectures and such.

Knowing I would be here for a while, I slid down against the wall to sit on the floor, knees tucked into my chest. I was vaguely grossed out that I was sitting on a public bathroom floor, but in the grand scheme of things, it really didn't matter. I peeled open the orange, the juices running down my hands. The smell was overpowering, and just about the only thing I could focus on. My stomach rumbled, probably at the aspect of being so close to eating something. Although I really didn't want to break my fast, the embarrassment of my stomach was also pretty terrible to deal with. So, I took a slice and chewed.

Only one.

•••
A/N

Yahoo. I'm back babyyyy. It's been 25 years since the last update (no seriously, it feels like that long). If you missed the last status update, basically I have the coronavirus so I'm not really vibing. Luckily, I'm asymptomatic so nothing hurts. Thanks for all the get well soon wishes!

And I get to quarantine with my boyfriend at his house (cause that bastard gave it to me). I've been living off chicken nuggets since almost everyone in his family is vegan, and I'm just about the pickiest eater on the planet. Issa vibe.

I opted to cut this chapter short by a couple hundred words rather than take longer to put it out, so y'all would at least have something to read. The reason I haven't written is because I had some serious writers block, and the BLM movement happened (I didn't feel comfortable posting during that). Focus should be on the movement, and not my shitty romance book lol.

I'm curious to know if anyone had any ideas about who should play Lindsay?

Anyways, can y'all let me know how you feel about Kanye running for president because tbh it makes me wanna die.

I didn't do shoutouts last chapter (I forgot whoops) but I'll do them this time around. This goes to people that vote a lot, comment a lot, add my story to their reading lists, etc. Shoutouts:

@graciejadexx
@hannaaaaaaw
@Niamhshipley2313

Vote and comment!

Emma x