Fragile Bones

Chapter Two

I stared at my somewhat depressing reflection in the mirror. I had heard the front door open and slam shut, and seen my dad walking up the stairs to avoid seeing my mom, a sure sign that she was home. I immediately put away the homework I had been working on to wander into the bathroom for a scale check. I often weighed myself after school, I had just decided to wait until I finished my homework today. To be honest, I always dreaded seeing my weight displayed in glowing numbers on my scale, but that didn't stop me from doing it. It was like an impulse, something I needed to do or it would drive me crazy. It had been about two weeks since I started actively trying to lose weight.

I dragged my head out of the clouds and focused once again on my reflection, peering into my dull eyes. I hated the way I looked, with my lifeless long brown hair and brown eyes that resembled a certain bodily function. My mom used to tell me I had been lucky to be blessed with the large eyes that no one in my family had, but they just looked bugged out to me. I was also pretty short, my height being somewhere around five feet two inches which I was not proud of. Don't even get me started about my weight; I seemed to be looking fatter every time I stepped in front of the mirror. I lifted up my sweatshirt to reveal my bulging stomach and I felt sick. I could only handle about ten seconds of looking at my arms, stomach and legs before I hastily turned away and headed towards the scale near the bathtub.

I shrugged off my sweatshirt and leggings, placing them on the counter, and leaving me in my bra and underwear. I stepped on and off it a couple times to make sure the reading would be accurate before stepping on the final time. I breathed out and silently prayed that I had lost weight since yesterday and looked down.

The scale read 128.3 pounds.

128.3 pounds? I thought to myself. That's .6 pounds lighter than yesterday.

I smiled to myself lightly. It wasn't much, but it's still an improvement. I was currently running on 500, or sometimes 600 calories a day. I wasn't really planning on going all that much lower. Despite what it may seem like, I'm not completely ignorant. I knew all about anorexia and other eating disorders and how they can kill.  However, I don't consider myself as having an eating disorder. The calorie intake I have is nowhere near enough to kill anyone, nor do I consider it unhealthy. I just needed to lose weight, and this was a quicker way of doing it.

"Madeline, it's time for dinner!" My mom yelled up the stairs, and I heard her feet softly pad away. I put the scale back in the cabinet, bending down to do so. I straightened back up and was met with black spots clouding my vision. I placed my hand against the wall to brace myself until the black spots faded away. I don't usually get lightheaded, so this kind of caught me by surprise. I put my clothes back on and straightened my hair up a bit and carried myself down the stairs to where my mom had made plates of food on the table. I took my normal seat land stared at the food before, mentally trying to figure out the calorie count.

Garlic bread is about 150 calories per slice, and there were two on my plate. The spaghetti would be 220, the sauce being around 60 calories. The side salad, with the tomatoes in it would probably be around 35 or so. In other words, 615 all together which is way too much for one meal.

My eyes followed my dad as he came down the stairs to take his place at the table. All was silent until my mom spoke up asking, "how was your day at school Madeline?" I shrugged as a reply, not willing to tell her about how no one liked me and made fun of me all day. I never told them anything like that, it wasn't their problem they raised such a whale of a daughter.

I twirled my spaghetti around my fork as my dad spoke up, and mentally prepared myself for an argument that was sure to ensue. "Nikki, you ask her that everyday and she gives the same answer. Why don't you just leave her be and let her eat her dinner?"