Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

21 December, 1977 - One More Time

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The morning after Potter gave her a telling off was the first time in almost a month that Lavinia showed her face in the Great Hall, figuring she had to do it at some point. Some truly cowardly part of her hoped that by doing it at breakfast she might miss the Marauders entirely. But she'd thought about it, for rather a long time the night before, and decided that maybe if they saw her acting normal, showing up to meals, being with her friends, they might become convinced she was fine. And if they thought she was fine then maybe they would give up and leave her to her freefall. Because Potter was right. She couldn't keep worrying them, though she had yet to decide what the best way to stop doing that was.

So she made her way up the steps to the entrance hall about half an hour before the end of breakfast, her heart going far faster than it should have been. She forced her fear aside, knowing it was stupid. They wouldn't say anything. Not with half the school watching. And her friends... well they might not be there either. And if they were then maybe they would be smart enough not to comment.

The moment she stepped into the Great Hall, her eyes sweeping across the benches, still foolishly, desperately hoping no one she knew was in the hall, she regretted it. There they were, all four of them. And no sooner had she entered than Potter caught sight of her and nudged Black and the two of them were staring, something like relief on their faces. Pettigrew even twisted in his seat to look at her and Lupin... Lupin didn't move. She felt her heart drop down towards the floor even as she made her way to the Slytherin house table.

This was what she'd wanted, she reminded herself, for them to hate her, like she deserved. But that didn't make bearing it any easier. And that of all of them it had to Lupin, who was the softest and most forgiving... She shoved the thought away for later and headed to where Regulus was sitting alone, finishing his breakfast.

She plopped down opposite him, her back towards the rest of the hall. Regulus looked up in surprise when she sat and started pouring herself coffee.

"You're at breakfast," he stated, looking at her quizzically.

"Really? I thought this was dinner," she deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes and snorted. "Very funny, Vin."

"I try," she quipped with a smile she didn't much feel.

"You haven't been to breakfast in... months, though. What gives?" he pressed.

Lavinia shrugged, drinking her coffee. "I actually woke up on time," she lied. She almost always woke up on time for breakfast. She just didn't usually feel like being surrounded by people, not that she did right now either, but she didn't want a certain group of boys to keep looking for her.

"Huh," he muttered, turning back to his food momentarily. "You've been more than slightly distant these days," he observed, keeping his tone carefully neutral.

Lavinia frowned at him, taking another sip of coffee. "I've been busy," she explained, keeping her tone light with the proper hint of confusion, as though she thought his worry was ridiculous. "And we already had this conversation. I told you I'm fine."

Regulus looked at her, head tipped to the side and gave a tight-lipped smile. "And I'm telling you I can't decide if I believe that."

Lavinia blinked, somehow both flattered and annoyed by his refusal to simply accept what she told him. "You should," she said, feigning mild offense. "I mean I'm stressed, but who wouldn't be."

"Mmm," he hummed, an edge of disbelief to his voice. "If you say so. But if you need anything, you know I'm here for you right?"

She looked at him for a long moment. Here for her? Where had he been the last year and a half as everything fell to pieces? Where had he been when she started wandering out late or skipping meals or hiding in the library all day long? She deflated slightly, knowing it wasn't his fault. She'd been careful. Oh so careful not to let any of it show. It wasn't his fault he hadn't noticed, wasn't his fault he hadn't seen through her lies. She had no right to blame him. Especially since, of all her friends, he so obviously cared the most.