"Y/n?"
"Miss Danvers," you applauded bitterly, turning to the supersuit-clad hero in recognition of her voice, mockingly raising the glass of scotch held in your hand to her direction as you muttered, "long time no talk,"
Kara sighed as she looked down on her feet, fidgeting incessantly with her hands, too ashamed to look you in the eye, "I came here to apologize." uttered the blonde.
"I don't need an apology." you blatantly stated, no letting your guilt eat you up at the look of hurt that crosses Kara's features.
"Y/n, I know you're mad—"
you cut her off with a chuckle, "I'm too sober for this." you downed your glass in one swift swig, filling it back up almost immediately as you ignored the pitiful looks that the hero was shooting you.
"Please, Y/n/n, I just want to talk..."
"there's nothing to talk about, Danvers," you firmly answered as you slouched down on the couch, pinching the bridge of your nose as if it would do anything to relieve you of your headache nor Kara.
footsteps were padding cautiously towards you, and you looked up to shoot Kara a glare, causing her to cease on her tracks, "look, just hear me out, Y/n—"
Kara trails off when she notices the burgundy suitcases packed neatly by your bedroom's door, she squinted at the suitcases and frowns when her x-ray vision confirms her suspicions her heart all of a sudden felt heavy.
"are you-"
"leaving? yeah," you affirmed.
Kara gave you a bewildered look, disbelief evident in her expression, "Alex didn't say anything—"
you shrugged nonchalantly, "I didn't tell her." you grumbled, "I didn't tell anyone."
"Why didn't you?" she asked, sounding as if she was accusing you.
"it wouldn't have made a difference," you said, downing another glass for the night, you stood, already filling up another until the glass was rudely whisked away by the Kryptonian.
you shoot her an exasperated glare but she doesn't budge.
"what about Alex? Lena? J'onn? Nia? Brainy—"
"what about them?" you scowled.
"what about us?"
"us?"
admittedly, the question caught you off guard, all you could do was bitterly laugh as you gave her an incredulous look, us?
she grabs your wrist and for the first time, you lock eyes with her, you the ocean blues of her eyes were almost enough to drown you.
almost.
"let me go." I love you.
"were you even going to say goodbye?" I'm sorry.
"I don't answer to you, Kara."
"I'm not letting you go until you do." then don't.
"then we're going to be here for a while."
"were you just going to leave everything behind?" Kara's voice trembled, a tear, followed by another, falling down her cheek as her eyes dug into your soul searching for something, maybe a hint that you hadn't made up your mind about leaving National City. leaving her.
the thing is, you already had.
and Kara knew it too.
it felt as if her throat was closing in on itself, as if the world was about to swallow her whole and suffocate her until her last breath had been knocked out of her chest, she's known you for a long time.
long enough for her to know that you know that doing this is going to hurt her. deeply.
why you're still doing it? Kara doesn't know, at least, she doesn't want to know.
at this point, you were lost in a haze of your spite and most likely, the scotch you've been drinking before the hero had even arrived. "I'm leaving, just like Mike did," you uttered insensitively, adding salt to the wound.
it was unnerving, you've hurt Kara before but not this way, never this way, the alcohol helped a lot.
"this time, I'm not coming back and the woman I love isn't sending me away either so, win-win," you added.
and like magic, Kara's grip on you loosens, and you could see anger boiling in her eyes, almost hidden amongst the mix of sadness and reluctance as she points an accusing finger on you.
but it's still there.
"that... is not fair," she said. "I did it to save him." she defended.
you merely laughed at her, "you did it to save him? and where is he now? oh, right! he's married to someone else because he doesn't love you anymore! and guess what? he will never. love. you. that way. again!"
you gulped, realizing what you had said.
only someone deeply rooted within Kara's heart could shatter it into pieces with merely a handful of words.
the worst part is, you knew that. didn't you?
"keep pretending, Kara, but you'll never be happy, and in the end, the only person you have to blame for that is you."
the music doesn't start over, only the lingering sound of the door being angrily shut as you walked away, leaving her a sobbing mess on the floor... only the sound of your heartbeat fading into a deafening silence as Kara found your unmoving figure, trapped under the burning hellscape of what was leftover from the crash.
your eyes were deserted of the light that was once there, cold, dead, and empty.
she couldn't save you.
the realization hurt more than having her skin seared with kryptonite and for a moment, it occurred to her that this may be as well the cause of her death.
the hero couldn't hold the broken pieces of her heart any longer, she fell to her knees, holding your lifeless body in her arms as her sorrow and guilt poured out in a torrent of uncontrollable cries of grief.
you were right. this is all her fault.
