The Suburbs

eighteen

When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.

[Haruki Murakami]

• • •

Kody was sitting on a patch of grass that overlooked the foggy lake. His knees were pulled to his chest and his fingers were busy knotting daisy chains. He had so much to think about, and yet, his mind was blank. Numb. Empty.

He wondered whether diving into the lake's icy water would clear all the confusion that swirled around in his cloudy head. Maybe it would cleanse him, filter out the ugliness and help him focus. He wanted to forget those taunting green eyes that peeked into his thoughts and messed everything up. The eyes that destroyed him and made him reevaluate everything.

"Kody?"

He glanced up, meeting Megan's big welcoming eyes. She was holding a leash with a little brown sausage dog attached to the end with a tail that wouldn't stop wagging. Kody scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. He'd never had a real conversation with her. When he was new in town, she had flirted with him a little, which led to them hooking up at Alex's party - the first party he went to after leaving London. But that was the extent of their friendship. "Hi, Megan."

"Do you live around here?"

He shook his head, "No... No, I'm just here to...to do some thinking."

She knelt down beside him and crossed her legs. "Do you wanna think out loud?"

He sighed, "Have you ever fucked something up that you really care about?"

"Of course." She laughed.

"And when you first fuck it up, it hurts so bad, but after a while, the pain starts to fade. And then...you start wondering if maybe, after all that, fucking up was the best thing you could have done?"

She hesitated, "That's usually how the healing process works."

He gulped, and turned to look into her deep, gentle eyes that were so full of life and soul and meaning. How had he never noticed them before? For a minute, he wondered how he could have ever thought that she 'wasn't his type.' "We're so much stronger than we think we are. I'm always surprised by that." He finally said.

"Sometimes it feels as though the world drags us through shit just to prove a point. As if it's laughing, saying 'See? What'd I tell you? I knew you could do it'. Funny that." She giggled.

He gazed at her contemplatively, and then stood up, "I've got to go, Megan."

"Oh." She stood too. "Well, maybe, when you're not busy we could...talk some more...?"

He nodded absentmindedly, already beginning to walk away, "Sure." He faked a smile and left.

His hands were shaking by the time he reached Arlo's door. He knocked twice, waited nervously for an answer, and then met Darya's pretty eyes. "Oh, hey, Kody."

"Hi." He greeted, kneeling down to pet Lola who was already trying to jump up and lick his face. "Is he around?"

"I'll go get him."

"Thanks." He watched her leave, then wandered aimlessly into the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw his friend propped up on the counter, clutching a hot mug of coffee, "Isabel?" He frowned.

She didn't reply for a moment, her blue eyes wide with shock. "H-Hey, Kody. You here for...?"

"For Arlo."