Delude | h.s.

fifteen

I've never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss
Finally // beautiful stranger - Halsey

♤

Layne

It's the first Friday night since I started working at Jack's that a band hasn't played. It's oddly quiet – that's meant to be taken lightly – it's still loud, but the energy that's usually there is missing. The crowd is the same, I recognize a lot of familiar faces, and they recognize me. However, there is one face I have yet to see tonight who should be showing up any minute now.

When I woke up Thursday morning, Harry was gone. Every time he stays the night, he's gone before I wake up. He sent me a text, telling me that he had to go to work. What he does for a living is still a mystery to me.

Harry didn't explicitly tell me he would be stopping by tonight, but he usually does even when his friends aren't playing.

I get off in about twenty minutes, so I'm hoping if he is coming it's soon.

I've been distracted most of the night, mainly because the excitement I feel about potentially seeing Harry is making me feel guilty.

Since I woke up Thursday, I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with Trevin. We haven't talked in a few days and he said he wanted to talk tonight but I know he's going to be asleep by the time I get home. Not only that, I don't really want to talk to him – there isn't anything for us to talk about. He's texted me a few updates about his life and he's shown that he's hardly interested in mine. Something that has really been bothering me, and something I can't stop asking myself is: why am I more excited to see someone I barely know than I am to simply talk to the person I've been dating for four years?

I distract myself with busy work and talking to regulars. It's definitely a subject I need to think more on and try to figure out but now is not the time.

Harry has yet to make an appearance by the time I get off work. Nicole relieves me and shoos me away from the bar to get my stuff. When I come out from the back, I spot that head of unruly brown curls I've come to recognize.

Harry has an empty glass in front of him, along with the receipt for it. Nicole is standing in front of him and she shoots me a wink. She says something to Harry and he slowly turns in my direction.

My legs carry me over to him and I smile, "Hey."

"Hi. Are you off?" His words are clipped and straight to the point.

"Yeah, do you want to come over?" If he's not going to beat around the bush, I won't either.

He cocks his head slightly, amused that I was so straightforward. "Yeah," he says, then stands from his chair.

Nicole gives me a wink as Harry and I start walking towards the front door. I shake my head and roll my eyes at her.

"How's it going?" I ask once we're outside.

He glances at me, "fine."

I didn't have much time in the bar to determine his mood, but now that I can read it, I try not to make it too obvious that I'm a little disappointed by his answer. It's not like I expected anything other than a quipped response, but I was hoping that after the other night he'd be a little more open with me.

That's a whole other situation I still have yet to unpack. I want to talk to him about it, but I have a feeling if I tried, he'd probably tell me to fuck off. Given the week I've had, I don't think I would be able to handle that.

He doesn't ask me how I am, or how my day was in return, so I decide to drop the conversation until we get into my apartment. I've noticed that he turns into almost a completely different person when no one is around. He's still hidden behind the walls he's built for himself, but he peaks over them when no one is watching.