Delude | h.s.

thirty two

We're the kids in America (whoa)
We're the kids in America (whoa)
Everybody live for the music-go-round
Bright lights, the music gets faster
Look, boy, don't check on your watch, not another glance
I'm not leaving now, honey, not a chance
Kids in America - Kim Wilde

♤

Layne

I roll onto my back and allow the sweet smell of summer to fill my senses.

My arm reaches out across the mattress and feel an empty space where Harry once was.

After I got changed last night, we went onto the patio and joined the family in their reunion. Harry's mother, Rebecca, asked me if I was hungry and before I got the chance to answer, she was getting me a glass of wine and making me a sandwich. Harry pulled out extra chairs for us and everyone else made room around the table.

I sat next to Harry's sister, Margot, who I vaguely remember him mentioning back at Luke's party. She is so beautiful and the definition of elegance. Everything she said and every move she made looked like it was done with purpose and ease. Her husband, Will, sat next to her and hardly ever took his eyes off of her. Just from the couple hours of watching them, it's obvious that he knows how lucky he is.

Margot and Rebecca asked me questions about my family and myself, most of which June answered for me. It was a strange thing; I never thought I'd be appreciative of other people answering questions about myself. It also made me feel so comforted and welcome because it meant that the last time I was here, June was listening to me. She paid so much attention to me that she could answer a pop quiz about myself if she wanted to.

Of course, June went into her college stories, and then I went into a few of mine.

My favorite part about last night though was how relaxed Harry was. He was so calm and so content. A soft smile never left his face. His arm was slung over the back of my chair as he admired his family interacting with one another.

I expected Harry's mom to go into stories about Harry as a child, but she never did. I thought that was odd, especially after her warm welcome. I thought she'd have brought photobooks to share with the whole family, but maybe she isn't that kind of parent.

After the conversation died down and Ivy needed to go to bed, Harry excused us and walked us back to his house. I changed in the bathroom and got ready for bed. When I left the bathroom, he went in, and I got in his bed. By the time he was out, I was half asleep and felt my heart flutter when his arms pulled me into his chest.

My mind replays moments from last night on repeat. I lay there for a minute before wiping the memories from my mind and the sleep from my eyes. My elbows hold my weight as I look around the rest of Harry's room. The shower isn't running, and he isn't in the living area.

Even when I stay at his place, he's gone before I wake up.

I pull the covers from my body and make my way to the bathroom. I decide a shower might help me feel rejuvenated for the day, so I stop at my bag and pull out my toiletries before closing the bathroom door behind me.

The water feels amazing against my skin and wakes up my tired muscles. I'm also so glad I brough my own toiletries. I know Harry has stuff under his sink, but I like using my own supplies because I know they work with my hair and skin.

For a minute, I stand under the water and let it wash over me.

I am so nervous about the party today and all of the people I may meet. I don't know if some of these people are Harry's friends or just people his family knows. When June was talking about it las night, it seemed to be a huge event that everyone in their neighborhood gets excited for. I have never been to a Fourth of July party like this. Sure, I've gone to see fireworks, and everyone in the surrounding neighborhoods join in and gather for the festivities, but never have I been to a single house that hosts everyone and everything.