Lina's Crisis (Ongoing)

Chapter Four

It was a restless night. My brain wouldn't grant me my beauty sleep despite the distressing events of the day. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling as if I am amidst an inscrutable dream then drifted back to a fitful sleep. They say that having a good sleeping pattern puts your life in order. Your body is recharged. Your metabolism is leveled up. Your head is focused. You simply feel good. But for me, it doesn't work this way. Maintaining a sleeping schedule is solely dependent on what I went through earlier in the day. Good days are like a breeze where I zone out in an instant. However, unfortunate incidents bring the unwelcome guest, Insomnia, to my doorstep at night. I always end up letting it in. Yesterday was no different.

I wake up in the early morning, hearing the birds singing a melody. I look at my bedside and it's empty. I guess my husband went to work early. I am immediately confronted with the memories of the previous day (thank you, my lovely supportive mind). Ali being absent minded. Ali mistakenly calling me with another woman's name. Ali forgetting my birthday. Ali not even interested in my birthday. Ali making me feel terrible about myself. Ali making me feel stupid, hysterical and inadequate. Ali, the love of my life.

I try to shake those thoughts out of my head. Angel Lina appears on my shoulder admonishing me. "Stop the negativity, girl. It's fine. Just because he forgot your birthday doesn't mean that he doesn't love  you." On the other shoulder, Devil Lina, just roars in laughter. Angel Lina is right. He loves me. I know he does. Or else, why did he marry me in the first place, right?

Yet Devil Lina doesn't let go. Seizing the opportunity, she answers in her nasty nasal voice, "maybe because it's you who chased him for so long and he c...". "Shuuuuush! Just shut up, you horrible nag," I say swatting her. "I won't let you rob me of my well-being, my marriage and my life." But she just smirks in reply, disappearing into nothingness.

I go out of bed, hyping myself up for the day ahead. A.Brand.New.Day. Nothing nasty will taint it. I get dressed, have breakfast, and go through my Facebook and... What is that?

It's my classmate, Sherry, back from the med school days. She is one of those people who gives you the impression of a distant yet courteous woman. Her eyes mirror the urgency of a superhero wanting to save the world but her chopper hasn't landed yet. However, when you get close, you find her warm and friendly, even funny. I personally think it's because of the faint smirk plastered on her face. Last summer, she got married, thinking she won the biggest trophy ever. So she never hesitates to show off her trophy, aka her husband, to the world. She posted a photo of him hugging her in a sparkly tiara,  holding a heart shaped red velvet cake. The caption says, "Birthday surprise from the best doctor and husband ever 🥰My rock. Forever my Valentine 🤤😍HATERS GONNA HATE!!🤪🤪🤪". Haters, Seriously? She is not the only married woman on earth, for god's sake, I think to myself. Although, I can't deny that her husband was being thoughtful unlike mine. Ugh..

Maybe that's the sacred secret of all marriages, I wonder excitedly. Make your husband feel like a Greek god and he will treat you like a goddess. Of course! Why didn't my mum tell me about this? Now my head is finally clear. I know what to do. I will showcase him on social media and remind people of how lucky I am. Then he will realize that I truly appreciate our marriage, what we built together. A true harmony of souls.

Feeling serene and full of sunshine, I tidy up the living room and start preparing lunch. Chicken Fajitas with paprika sauce (asked his mom for the recipe), couscous and my amazing roasted veggies terrine. His favourite meal. He is constantly reminding me of making healthy food to keep his body on top form for his annual tennis championships. He is multi-talented, my husband. A tennis player, an actor in the local theatre, a cardiovascular surgeon. Now I remember that, I'm more certain that Omar and the others got the wrong end of the stick. Ali is leading a very successful life, no matter how demanding. Such a one of a kind person deserves my sacrifice and support.