Resisting Temptation (A Kyoya Ootori Fanfic)

Chapter 23

(Seina's POV)
I'd forgotten how exhausting full blown panic attacks were. Perhaps I'd tried to forget. I lay with my head in my mother's lap, showered and in a clean nightgown. My brother kept watch in the doorway having already gone through every room and turned all the lights on. A crime against the environment but I was too tired and empty to care. The panic attack had taken everything I had and hours later I had only just stopped shaking. I was still jittery though and every noise made me jump and sent my overworked heart racing. Tatsuo had explained why it was dark and my lamp was missing, he had not voiced his disapproval at me allowing Kyoya into my bed but I could see it on his face. My mother, meanwhile, was simply glad I was finally doing as I was told and making an effort with my alleged fiancé.
A little while later, I nearly suffered a heart attack, bolting upright as the main door to my chambers opened. Then Kyoya appeared in the doorway and offered a weak smile, it must have been around 5:00 in the morning. It was strange that I knew he was partially to blame for my state but I still wished for his affection and reassurance. Tatsuo told him in no uncertain terms that if he was to remain in my chambers then the lights would stay on and he would be sleeping on the couch.
My mother looked exhausted as she smiled and stroked my hair. 'Are you ok now? Would you like me to stay Seina?'
'I'm ok. You can both go back to bed, I'm sorry for troubling you. I'll apologise to everyone else in the morning.'
Tatsuo scowled. 'You don't have anything to be sorry for.' I shrugged and burrowed into my pillow, too tired to argue. They both took the hint and quietly left.
I was so cold but I was scared to close my eyes and go to sleep, terrified that I would end up in that place again, alone in the dark. After tossing and turning I carefully gathered up a pillow and my duvet and tiptoed into my living room. Kyoya was still awake, staring into thin air and making no attempt to sleep. Wordlessly I padded over to him and forced the pillow behind his head, I then crawled into his arms so my head was resting on his chest and pulled the duvet over both of us. I squeezed him tightly and he returned the pressure, kissing my head softly. I fell asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart.

The next morning I awoke on time despite my exhaustion and slipped out of Kyoya's arms. Maybe I was weak for going to him last night. I slowly dressed in loose fitting silk trousers and a similar top, clothes that wouldn't feel constricting. As I left the room the shadow king never so much as stirred. Despite myself I grinned.

I headed straight downstairs and outside. I needed to feel the sun and the wind, to be in an open space. I reached the place where Satsuki and I always sat to find a picnic blanket and a small basket. Inside was some freshly baked croissants, one of my favourite things ever since we took a trip to Paris. A little note read: Mmm! Energy! I rolled my eyes but took a bite of one anyway. It had clearly escaped Tatsuo's attention that I was no longer seven years old. At least he cared, and they were delicious. I lay back in the sunshine and quickly fell asleep.
I awoke to find a familiar figure sat next to me, staring into the distance. The slight summer breeze ruffled his hair and he looked inexplicably handsome. His cool, crisp scent filled my nose and I tentatively tucked my hand into the crook of his arm. His gaze swept down to where I lay, a small smile on his lips. 'You're awake.'
'Mmm.'
After a moment, I sat up, mirroring his posture: arms resting on my bent knees as I faced the surrounding landscape. 'About last night...'
'You don't have to explain it to me, not if you're not ready...For my part, I am sorry for my thoughtless actions. It was not my intention but I caused you great distress. So I'm sorry.'  I nodded my head considering my next words. He didn't speak, allowing me to decide what we would discuss.

(Kyoya's POV)
She was quiet for a long time before she finally began to speak. 'When I was 7 years old I was kidnapped by a gang of armed thugs who wanted to hold me for ransom. Even then my Uncle apparently favoured me so I was selected over his own grandchildren. My mother was completing another doctorate at the time so she was at uni a lot and I spent a lot of time with my father at company headquarters. I loved it there with the endless windows and the lifts which took you to the sky. Everything was polished, precise and perfect. I used to wander about the place like a little princess, I knew many of the employees by name and was free to visit my favourites when my father was busy. One day he had an important meeting and instructed me to wait outside. So I sat in a chair with a book and tried my best to look grown up while I waited.
'A while later, a young woman came and introduced herself to me as one of my father's interns. She said his meeting had overrun and she had been sent to get me some food. I had no reason to doubt her so I went to the staff kitchens with her.
'There was a man in there who looked more out of place. He was too muscular for your average office worker or scientist and he was not clean shaven, his clothes were creased as if he'd put them on in a hurry. But when I was introduced to him, he smiled nicely and bowed his head to me, then he gave me his drink. It was hot chocolate with little pink marshmallows. The police later said it was drugged but...it is the last thing I remember before waking up, bound with rope in the pitch black.
'I was so so scared. I screamed and begged and cried for help till my throat was so raw I couldn't speak. I fought against the ropes day after day until my hands were slick with my own blood. I didn't know the days were passing and they certainly didn't feed me three times a day. I would go to sleep and wake up and it was completely dark. Some times I was scared that I had just gone blind and it was not dark at all. When the men didn't get the money they wanted as fast as they wanted they yelled and beat me unconscious. I've seen the photos that were sent to my family. I looked like a broken doll with sunken eyes, dull hair and pale skin coloured only by bruises and rope burn.
'When the police finally stormed the place with a contingent of the company's private police force I tried to fight them off and they were forced to sedate me. I thought the men had come back to kill me.'
Though her lips were set in a grim line, determined to maintain her composure and finish the story, her eyes held a haunted look. Almost ten years later, her experience had stuck with her.
'I thought I'd been there for two weeks at the most but it had been almost a month. Weeks of hospitals and doctors and therapy followed. Nothing helped or sent the nightmares away. Eventually Gushiken-sama began training me in martial arts so that I would never be defenceless again. My parents moved us from the family home so I could attend Ouran and I began training at the Haninozuka dojo. Steadily I pieced myself back together and realised that I was a force to be reckoned with, that I had the strength and intellect to accomplish whatever I wished.' She flashed me a fierce, defiant grin.
There was nothing of a well bred lady in the expression but it spoke volumes about how she had survived. This was the girl I loved. Intelligent and beautiful and successful. Determined beyond reason and strong beyond measure.
'I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything earlier or mention the lights. I thought you would go to bed with me...so it wouldn't be a problem but then it didn't occur to me that you wouldn't realise. I hoped you'd just know so I wouldn't have to explain. I know I'm younger than you but I do not want you to treat me like a child. If this is going to work I need to be your equal.'
I chuckled softly at her even as she narrowed her eyes. 'Seina, you are so much more than my equal. You're stronger than me and you may very well be smarter than me too. I could never see you as a child. It's not your fault, I should have known about the lights. I did know. I did want to go bed with you, more than anything, in so many ways...' I smirked a little as she blushed a dark red and looked away. 'I just had something really important I had to do. It's sorted now but I am sorry for neglecting you again. I am yours for the summer.' She nodded her head quickly, her eyes darting across my face and away again.
Laughing softly I reached out and gently caught her chin, turning her face to mine. 'Look at me Seina.' She did. 'I'm not going to cross any boundaries that you don't want me to. Everything is up to you.' A slight nod as her eyes flicked to my lips.
'Kiss me.' She breathed.
So I did. I took her face in my hand, caressing her cheek and pressed my lips to hers. I let her have control, wrapping her arms around my neck and deepening the kiss, her tongue slipping into my mouth. I might have lost control right then, or when she climbed into my lap, but each move she made was tentative and soft. There was a time for lust but in that moment she needed love. So I gave it to her.