Pete has always been an overachiever. The young mayor of South Bend, Indiana, has spent his entire life laser focused on work. Between school, internships, military service and a political career, he never had time for a personal life. All that is a...
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Chasten lay on the bed and covered his face with an inward groan. Could he have been any more obvious downstairs? He had practically thrown himself at Peter. How pathetic.
What was the rush? Needy much?
Peter tapped on the door frame and Chasten jolted into a sitting position. They smiled shyly at each other.
"I'm just gonna--" Peter pointed to the bathroom door.
"Yeah. Okay." Chasten stood up and nodded.
---
Pete went into the bathroom and shut the door, leaning back against it. He thought he was ready for this, but he was wrong. It was stupid. People had sex every day. What was holding him back? He loved Chasten, wanted to be with Chasten. There was no doubt in his mind. But he still wanted to wait.
---
Chasten paced the bedroom. There was no sound from the bathroom. He found himself leaning toward the door, waiting for a sign of life. He got nothing."You okay in there?" Why the hell did he say that! What if Peter was having second thoughts? What if he wanted him to leave? Old fears gripped him by the throat.
---
Pete realized he had been standing in the same spot for several minutes. He cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. Be out in a minute." He shook himself and got ready for bed, brushing his teeth, washing his face. Did he need to shave? He turned his head left and right, feeling the scruff on his cheeks.
If he did shave, would Chasten think it meant he wanted sex? Like inviting someone in for coffee? He decided to let it go and stepped into the bedroom, talking a mile a minute. "Sorry about that. I just needed a few minutes to think." Just spit it out! "I've come to the conclusion that I'm not ready." Whew! Said it. Didn't dissolve into a puddle of embarrassment.
Chasten's eyes were wide and shiny, his mouth clamped shut. Had he been crying? Before Pete could ask, Chasten nodded slowly. "It's okay. I'll survive. I've done it before. I just prefer you be honest about it."
Pete felt like they were having two different conversations. "Honest about what?"
"You don't really want me to move in, do you? You were trying to figure out a way to let me down easy. That's why you were in the bathroom for twenty minutes."
"I was? I didn't realize. But no, that's not even close! I want you here more than anything." He took Chasten's hand and they sat on the bed.
"Really?" Chasten asked, a tear rolled down his cheek.
"Really." Pete gently brushed the tear away with his thumb.
"So what were you thinking about in there?"
"Uh...that I'm not ready for this."
"But you said--"
"I mean...for..." Pete motioned to the pillow. "What's supposed to come next."
"You mean sex?"
Pete nodded. "I'd rather wait...if that's okay with you?"
Chasten's face lit up. "For you I would wait forever." He touched Pete's cheek. "Besides you're too scruffy. I don't need the chafing."
Pete chuckled. He'd been right about not shaving. Bullet dodged. "Let's go to sleep. We've got a big day tomorrow." He curled up with Chasten spooning behind him.
"What are we doing tomorrow?"
"It's a surprise."
"Does it involve pine scented trees?"
"Maybe. Do you always have to try and figure out my surprises?"
"Yes. Yes, I do. Every time."
"Chasten?"
"Yes, Peter?"
"I love you."
Chasten sniffled and wrapped his arm around Pete's chest. "I love you too."
Pete hugged Chasten's hand to him and fell asleep.
