I know - Kyman Fanfic

Chapter Four

Cartman and I exchanged a casual conversation, talking about things in general and how much Stan pissed him off last night. He gossiped pretty good, giving straight facts and making himself look amazing.

As I dipped the chips in the gravy, he pouted. He had run out of chips. I gave him half of mine, even if it wasn't much, he still seemed happy. He sat back and moaned quietly in delight. I know how much he loved KFC, and if he wasn't trying to lose a tiny bit he would order the same again.

He was doing good, despite having such a big appetite. He had lost a bit, and it showed. I guess I was kind of proud of him in a way. I remembered the stack of homework I had to do and I felt my heart beat out of my chest.

"Hey uh..thanks for bringing me here." I said and he smiled, nodding as he knew I wanted to speak more. "But could we go? I hate to end it early but people will start coming here soon and I have loads of homework to do." He nodded and smiled.

"Of course! I have some to do too so I'll work with you." Even if he was dumb as hell, I did need help on my history based on Nazi Germany. We both stood up and walked out of the building.

"Do you want you're hoodie back? It's freezing!"

"No, I'm alright. I'm used to being cold."

"Why?"

"Because I don't exactly get close to anyone usually and my mothers tight on money so there's no heating."

"Oh..right. Do you not talk to her then?"

"Of course I don't! Her job is disgusting and I don't even want to be near her." I nodded. I couldn't blame him, he hated her for selling her body. "You're mum's nice though, she's big and warm."

"Yeah, she is."

We finally got into my house, my mother not back yet. I flopped down onto the sofa, stomach bloated. I guess it made me look more healthy. Cartman instantly looked back at the baby photos of me and I rolled my eyes.

"Dude, don't look at them. They're so ugly and embarrassing." He picked up one of me at the age of 9. It was my school photo, my old Afro was so big and horrible. "Cartman!" I hissed and he sniggered.

"Look at you're old jewfro!" He mocked, pointing at it. "God you looked so weird as a kid, like a goblin."

"Shut up!"

"Remember when I henna inked freckles onto you're face? You looked so weird!"

"Shut up shut up shut up!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, coming at him. As he was standing up and now taller and stronger than me, he just took in my pathetic hits and cries. "Do you know how much I wanted to kill myself?! Huh? I wanted to kill myself because of my parents arguing, my face, my hair, you're insults and slurs, being Jewish, being from jersey, the pressure of being smart and becoming a lawyer! I wanted to fucking kill myself because life was so shit back then! No one cared to turn an eye and look as I held back tears, everyone just kept on teasing and shouting! It was so much! So fucking much!"

I must have looked like a mess, my emotions spilling out into Cartman's chest. He then pulled me in, holding me tight and close. I could feel my whole face sting and cringe, my fingers digging into his t-shirt.

"I wanted to kill myself..." I whimpered out, and we collapsed together. I was in his arms, warm. I didn't know wether to feel safe or totally depressed. He pressed his forehead against mine, causing me to look up.

"I'm so sorry that I made you want to kill yourself," he started in a soft tone. "I didn't mean for it to go that far, I thought it was harmless teasing. You even laughed a few times. Every time you would shout at me, I just thought it was the heat of the moment, wanting to tear my face up. When you had bursts of crying and screaming, I would smile and laugh triumphantly. I'm such a shit person, and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."