I can't even lie. This is another filler but only because I wanted the next chapter to be a stand alone. Please bear with me lol
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Amelia
My mind has been swimming with information for days. Never in a million years would I have expected Mitch to show up at my doorstep, let alone with a lengthy letter from Harry expressing his love for me. My life has changed dramatically from where I was a year ago.
The day after Mitch's surprise arrival, we talked for seemingly hours about Harry. I cried, a lot, and expressed that my feelings for him never dwindled. I was hurt but I never stopped loving Harry. Mitch told me that Harry felt the same.
I still felt conflicted as to what to do. The obvious answer is to talk to Harry but when? According to Mitch he has been swamped with work so he wouldn't be able to fly out any time soon. I even contemplated flying out to him after my graduation but unfortunately I can't afford a plane ticket and I would never ask him to fly me out for this, although I know he would do it in a heartbeat.
My heart does break a little knowing that my graduation is this weekend and Harry isn't here for it. I never uninvited him, and technically I still have his ticket, but I can't imagine him coming all the way out to New York for that while we are in this weird and unstable place. I wouldn't expect him to and ringing him up now about it might be a little too late.
I have yet to reach out via phone call or text message. I want to but at the same time, I am incredibly unfocused with my college career ending. Harry deserves either my undivided attention over the phone, or a personal conversation in person. I just can't see doing something half-assed.
I almost called him the night Mitch left. Almost. But after much deliberation, I decided it was best to talk to Harry after graduation. Mitch agreed as well. He thought it would allow for me to enjoy my senior week as much as possible without worrying about what I would say to Harry or how we would hash things out. I doubt there will be anymore fights between us in regards to our current situation, but naturally I do have my worries.
Currently I am sat in a bar with Christian and some other English majors, celebrating the end of our college career. I wasn't expecting to go out but Mitch was right. I need to let go a little this week. I'll just resent Harry in the long run if I don't.
"So you're going to Columbia?" Suzie, a pale girl with bright, red hair asks Christian.
He nods.
"Yeah. Dunno why they accepted me but I'm not complaining," he says with a slight laugh. He turns to me, a curious expression on his face. "Hey, did you ever tell Shannon I got accepted to her dream school?"
I shake my head.
"No, never. It never came up and I wasn't about to bring it up. Plus we had a falling out so there's no chance I'll tell her about it now," I say.
"You and Shannon fell out? I thought you were like best friends?" Another girl, Raven, asks me.
Unlike Suzie, Raven falls on the more creative side of English with me. We've had almost all of our classes together since sophomore year. I don't particularly consider us close friends, but she's one of the more friendly people I know. I always enjoy her company.
"Things got - uh - complicated," I say vaguely.
Although my picture has been released with Harry's, I have yet to fully confirm anything with anyone other than Christian and obviously Shannon. Plus no one has asked. I haven't been purposely trying to hide it but Harry and I haven't had that talk yet about confirming our relationship publicly. I'm scared to talk to him about it after the whole hand holding incident but I have to get through our 'get back together' talk first.
"Oh I'm so sorry to hear that," Suzie says, frowning.
I shake my head.
"Honestly, it's for the best. She meddled in my relationship," I tell them.
"Relationship?"
"Like your boyfriend?"
I nod to both Suzie and Raven's questions.
"Yeah. It's a little touchy right now so I'd rather not get into it. Let's just say she made things complicated as hell and then tried to make herself seem like the victim," I tell them.
Christian snickers from beside me, knowing all of the details already.
"That wasn't even the best part," he mumbles.
I roll my eyes.
"Yeah I - uh - wound up moving out. Things...progressed and I angrily packed up all my things and left that night," I sheepishly add.
Suzie and Raven look at me like I have three heads.
"You just left?" Suzie asks.
"I gave her a heads up if that's any consolation, but yeah, I just left," I say. I sigh. "Honestly? I was relieved. I realized that night that I thought I liked Shannon more than I did. We used to be good friends but things progressively went downhill as college went on. I wasn't as upset as I probably should have been when I moved out. It was kind of freeing actually,"
"Holy shit, Amelia. I mean I'm happy for you but that's insane," Raven says.
"Shannon was a piece of work. I never liked her. I only put up with her to appease you," Christian tells me, causing me to roll my eyes.
"You should have just told me. Maybe then I wouldn't have had to go through all this drama," I mutter.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been without Shannon in it or if our situation hadn't unfolded like it did. I'm grateful for the good moment I have had with Shannon and a part of me does genuinely believe that she cared about me at some point, but I find myself questioning that because of her behavior with Harry. I wonder if she's always been sneaky with him when I'm not around.
My mood drops slightly as the night goes on. I slam several drinks back, trying to forget all my woes for the night and it works to an extent. But visions of Harry cloud my thoughts and I find myself more distracted than I should be. The whole point of waiting until after graduation to talk to Harry was so that I could enjoy my senior week without the pressure of our conversation. But although I have chosen to wait, my heart still aches at the thought of him. I long for his touch and to hear his voice again and I only hope that we will be able to rekindle our relationship where it left off before all of the drama.
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Ahh I have been in a sad mood today therefore my updates reflect that lol
ALSO shameless plug but I have another Harry book out called The Night We Met. I've mentioned it before but it has more of steamy scenes some of you were commenting about, and I find it's deeper (if that makes sense). Feel free to check it out if you'd like. I also may or may not have another Harry book in the works but it's such a distant thought right now that I am working on. I'll keep you posted when it finally comes to fruition :)
