Odd-eyed Beauty // hwang minhyun (#27)

Thirty

Yeongwon

I looked towards Hwang Minhyun who is conversing with the café owner, I have no idea what exactly they are talking about and it is absolutely nerve-wracking. I didn't decide to come to this café on my own, Hwang Minhyun did and he forcefully dragged me here without asking me for my permission.

He knows that I don't want to go outside and I prefer to just stay at home if I have nothing to do and I have nothing much to do after school because I am not in any of the after-school clubs that the school has, I purposely avoided all of those because I hated attention and being in one of these clubs will definitely make me stand out and I will be getting bullied even more.

That's why I told myself never to do anything to make myself stand out, it is nothing that I will not do because people here don't like me and they hated my existence. I avoided any single club in school in fear that they might have the chance to single me out and beat me up to their hearts' content, it is one of the things they do when they get a little bored.

There is a club that I always wanted to join ever since I entered high school but I was hesitant to do so because of those people in school, I want to use my voice to move the hearts of those students but I fear that they might even start to hate my voice if I ever join the broadcasting club and more people will know about me, thus making me stand out and that is one thing I shouldn't do.

And now there is a chance for me to do a little radio show in this very café but that fear is starting to eat me up, I know that no one will know me here because I don't go out often but there is the risk that some of the people from my school will be here because this area is close to my school and it doesn't take a long time to travel here.

How should I do? Should I just tell Hwang Minhyun that I can't do it after all? But that would be wasting his time trying to convince the café owner to allow me to do a little radio broadcast, I would be so bad to do that. He would be so disappointed at me for making him do things unnecessarily and then giving up on it. I don't want to make him hate me at this point.

"Yeongwon, the café owner says that it is fine with us doing a small broadcast but he would only allow 20 minutes of broadcasting because the one who is in charge of the radio booth is arriving soon for his part-time job. Is that okay with you? Is it enough time for you to do whatever you want?" He told me and he suddenly stopped talking because I wasn't replying back to him or giving him any response. "Bae Yeongwon, are you okay?"

"I am okay." I really am not okay and I feel like my heart is going to jump right out of my body, I can't believe that I have been given a chance to actually do a little broadcast even though I am totally not trained in that area and I might disappoint everyone in return.

He placed both of his hands on my shoulders. "Yeongwon, if you really can't do it, I won't force you to do it. I know that you are totally not prepared for it but I will wait for the day that you are ready."

Say that you are not ready yet, it doesn't hurt to say no to someone. He won't get disappointed in you if you don't do the broadcast. I nodded, hating myself for making that rash decision. "I am ready."

"Are you sure?" He asked me once again and I nodded, reassuring him that I wouldn't faint midway through the broadcast and he would have to bring me home, that would be truly embarrassing and I don't want to happen to me. "Okay, just remember that I would be sitting together with you and you tell me whenever you are not feeling alright and I will bring you home immediately."

I nodded once again and we made our way to the broadcasting booth, the owner briefed me on how to operate the booth at the most basic level and I wore my headphones when I am ready, I looked towards Hwang Minhyun and he was wearing his headphones as well, looking back at me with a reassuring smile.

With that, I started the first broadcast of my life and it was such a magical feeling that I feel inside of me. "Good afternoon, people. It is your lovely DJ  here and I am Bae Yeongwon. Today is my first ever broadcast and I am so nervous about it, I don't even know what topics to talk about today but I know that I would have to talk about myself for the first broadcast. I am Bae Yeongwon and I am a regular high schooler who is studying in a regular high school, my grades aren't exactly good and they aren't exactly bad as well, I don't have many friends and I prefer to stay on my own because people avoid me because of my looks, I don't look ugly but it is my eyes that scare them."

When I was in the middle of broadcasting, I realize that something has changed and it is very overwhelming for me. It is as if I am being transported into a world that is me, everything is about me and nothing else mattered, I feel like I am the most important person in that world and everyone needs to know about that. I would say whatever I want and no one can make me feel inferior about myself because they aren't important in my life and I shouldn't allow them to affect me, they can't control my life however they want and I am the only one who has a say in everything that I do. I am not afraid of anything that I say, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it is totally safe to say it all out and not affect anyone.

The DJ Bae Yeongwon isn't the usual Bae yeongwon, she is different and she is not afraid to do the things that the usual Bae Yeongwon is afraid of, DJ Bae Yeongwon is not afraid to challenge herself and tell everyone about herself. She is everything that the usual Bae Yeongwon isn't and I feel glad but shocked to see the other side of me today, I didn't expect that I can become someone so confident as well.

I took off the headphones and I only heard people clapping for me, they were all amazed at me for my first broadcast. Hwang Minhyun gave me a thumbs up while smiling, he was the main person who had heard everything and he was happy that my first broadcast turned out better to he expected.

I got off the booth and I was approached by a guy who looked all stylish and he looked at me. "Bae Yeongwon right? I heard your broadcast, you were pretty good as a first time DJ and I think that you can get even better if you have even more experience." He passed me a name card. "I have a job at this radio station and I would like to have you be there as my guest DJ, it would be a great experience for you. Call me when you have made up your mind about it." And he left, life is giving me a chance without me even asking for it.