Collateral Damage

chapter 12

I thought that having a not-so-much of a confrontation with Noah was just fantastic for my first day at work. But life wasn't nice, now was it?

I got cornered by Jill not long after. She locked the restroom door after getting in behind me. It all felt very high school-ly to me. At least, the washroom was empty. I didn't want any witnesses to this drama.

I sighed.

What did she want?

Stealing my fiancé wasn't enough? Did she want to rub it in my face too?

How did I even end up in this situation? I should've never agreed to this job. Big mistake.

'Look, Gen,' she ventured, her face screwed up.

'Genevieve,' I said, not looking at her.

'Genevieve, I'm so sorry,' she said. Her voice wavered slightly and when I finally looked at her, her eyes were filled with tears.

'Of course, you are,' I mocked. I sounded like a bitch, but after all that had happened, I was entitled to act like a bitch.

'Really. I didn't know! I swear I didn't know he was engaged,' she said. Her voice was so broken, she looked like she would crumple.

I looked at the space above her shoulder. This made it worse. I couldn't get angry and blame her if she had no idea what she had been doing was wrong.

Suddenly, she grabbed my hands.

'Say something,' she pleaded.

I didn't look at her. Instead, I looked at her hands gripping mine.

'What do you want me to say?' I said, pulling my hands out of hers. 'You not knowing he was engaged doesn't change a thing. I don't know. I don't know what to say. I just don't want to be having this conversation.'

A tear slid down her cheek. 'I'm sorry,' she said again. 'I didn't know. If I had known I wouldn't have done it! I ... I never wanted to be a homewrecker,' she was full-on crying now.

Normally, this would have made me feel compassionate about her, but I felt nothing.

'Wouldn't have done what? Wouldn't have fallen in love with him? There's one thing you should know, Jill. You can't control who you fall in love with,' I said softly.

I didn't feel anger towards Jill anymore. I just didn't care.

She started crying more.

'It wasn't like that,' she managed to say between sobs.

I reluctantly kept a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. I didn't hate her for fucking my fiancé, but that didn't mean I liked her. Besides, it should be me needing comfort. I was the one who got cheated on. I guess I was tired of crying. Tired of feeling sorry for myself.

'He didn't love me,' she said.

'What?' I whispered. It was all I could say.

'He never loved me. I know what it feels like and it wasn't that. Now I know why,' she said.

It was like the floor gave way beneath me. Why would he do that? If it wasn't for love.

'What are you saying?' I asked.

She sniffled. Her face had become splotchy. She walked over to the tissue disposer and took out a few. She blew her nose in it and I made a face.

She looked back at me after throwing them in the trash, more composed now.

'What I'm saying is I screwed up big time. He loved you. Always. All this time he was with me I thought, someday it would start to feel like the real thing, you know. Someday he would start loving me,' she wiped at the tears that kept flowing.

'But he loved you. It was always you,' she said, there was a bitterness in her voice. She was bitter? What about me?

I scoffed.

'Must not have been enough that he went after you,' I started to leave but she was blocking my way. I glared at her.

'I never meant to break your engagement. Never meant to ruin your wedding,' she said.

'Well, it's too late now,' I said, my face blank, completely devoid of emotion. I was never good at hiding my emotions, but I felt so numb about this whole thing now that I didn't have to pretend.

'I'm sorry,' It was like a broken record the times she'd said that to me. It was becoming annoying. I thought of making her shut up about it.

'Would you not do it if you knew?' I asked.

She instantly shook her head. 'Of course not,' she said, sounding so sure, so confident, so believable. It made what I said next all the more satisfying.

'Then why were you kissing him after you knew he was getting married to me the next day?' I asked. I wasn't expecting an answer. And I didn't get one.

Her mouth dropped open. she looked incredibly guilty at that moment. She didn't think I knew that. Too bad for her. It was the moment my world came apart. Probably, the one thing I would never forget.

When she didn't say anything for a long while. I gave her one last look. A look I hoped made it clear I never wanted to see her again.

'That's what I thought,' I said and turned on my heels. I unlocked the door and left there with my head held high.

If only Noah could see me now.

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