Dead End

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Strange

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Hingal na hingal ako pagkapasok sa loob ng bahay. Napatingin ako sa orasan na nakasabit sa itaas na bahagi ng dingding sa kanan ko. The clock looks very old. Ang kulay puting katawan nito noon ay mistulang kulay kape na sa katandaan. Mom told me it's hers since she was young. She had been keeping it ever since. 

Napangiwi ako. I didn't like how the clock looked like. It's very old-fashioned, and if ghosts are indeed real, parang invitation 'to dahil sa ka-creepyhan. This is the type of clock you would see in horror movies that produces creepy sounds. I wonder if ano ba ang sentimental value nito sa nanay ko.

Anyway, the point is, no matter how old it looks like, it still works. It's still valuable and useful. Just like me, I wanted to live that kind of life. That no matter how old I'll be, I wanted to be able to give back to my Mom.

It's 6:30 pm already. And Mommy is still not here. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ang pagkakaabalahan niya ngayon knowing na lumipat kami sa probinsya. Back in Manila, she does online business. I wonder if she can still do it here. 

Mukhang may binili lang siya dahil wala pa kaming stock ng pagkain dito. Nilibot ko ng tingin ang buong bahay. Ngayon lang ako nagtagal dito sa sala dahil ilang araw akong nagkulong sa kwarto ko dahil sa pagtatampo sa kanya. I thought that her decision is kind of unreasonable.

Hindi man ito kasing laki noong tinitirhan namin sa Maynila, it still has a room for everything. The old-fashioned house is wooden-built. The vinyl floor shines but still manifests a dark brown color. The furnitures are made of woods, too. And there are typical old Filipino sliding windows in each room. I haven't asked Mom about this yet, but it's probably from her foster family. Sabi niya kasi, inampon lang din naman siya ng mayamang mag-asawa dati. Ngunit maagang namatay ang mga ito kaya't maaga rin siyang namuhay nang mag-isa. She was very young back then, she said. That's why most of the time, hindi niya naaalala kung ano nga ba ang klase ng buhay na kinagisnan niya.

Just like her, I was also an orphan. Tiningnan ko ang ilan sa mga picture frame na nakadisplay sa sala. Some of it were my baby pictures. The ones she took after adopting me. Bukod naman doon, meron ding mga pictures naming dalawa. My birthday celebration every year, graduation in prep, elementary, and high school. Ang iba naman ay pictures namin kapag nagtatravel.

My Mom still looks incredibly gorgeous even in her fifties. We actually have the same hair color, so no one suspects that we are not even blood-related. Not that we keep it a secret, though. Mukha lang kasi talagang totoong magnanay kami. In addition, her skin is pale white and I have the same.

"Mom, were your foster parents kind to you?" I asked her one time.

"Yes, they are.  And even though I lost them a long time ago, I managed to live by myself and still be grateful to them for taking care of me." sabi niya at itinaas ang tasa na may lamang tsaa. Humigop siya rito.

"Then, why did you choose to adopt, too? Even though you're single." My thirteen year old self was very curious. Maaga pa lang inamin sa akin ni Mommy na hindi ko siya biological mother. Aniya, wala namang magandang dahilan para ilihim iyon sa akin dahil hindi naman daw niya ako ituturing na iba kahit kelan. 

"I don't need a man in my life, Raya." She raised her eyebrows while saying this. Tumango ako. I've always adored how she seemed to always be that strong, independent woman people will look up to.

"At alam ko ang pakiramdam na walang magulang. Even though the orphanage takes care of you, nung makita kita, it's as if you were meant to be my daughter." She smiled. Kahit pa may bahid ng katarayan ang kanyang mukha, I know when she's sincere or not.