Shades of the Past | BWWM

Orange Pill Bottle ✨ {Edited}

"This is ridiculous Cole hasn't left his room in three days!" I hear a hushed yet sharp voice outside my bedroom door. 

For the past few days, Laura and my cousins have made it their business to whisper outside my door. I lift a cigarette to my lips allowing the smoke to invade my lungs. I stare up at the ceiling focusing on the vast darkness surrounding me. Everything just feels numb, like nothing. 

I roll over to come face to face with an old photo of a woman on my desk. We have similar features, especially her eyes. The only difference is that hers shine with youthful innocence. It must have been windy that day because her long black hair covers most of her face. Her hands rest on her pregnant belly.

"I haven't seen him like this since the trial. He won't talk to us and he won't even let us turn on the lights" I hear Travis say.

"I went in to give him food as if his legs has stopped working, and I tripped over all of his crap. It's like a battlefield in there and it's all because of her" Luke adds, his voice dripping in irritation.

"I don't think this is about Kendra at all. He was hurt but this is different. He keeps getting calls from that number. I think this has to do with... you know." Travis argues back.

"So this is Alabama all over again?"

"No, it's not, I won't let that happen. I promised his mom that I would take care of him and that's what I'm going to do." I hear Laura say, her voice filled with conviction.

"I hate to say it but he's already there. Between what happened with Kendra, the phone call and him not taking his medication anymore-"

Before Travis can finish Laura cuts him off, "He stopped taking his medication and neither of you thought it was important to tell me? Are you insane, you know he can't just stop taking his meds!"

The voices stop as I breathe out more smoke. I put my cigarette out as my door slowly opens. Laura steps in and I hear her trip over something.

"Shit" She mutters under her breath as she recovers. 

"Honestly Cole it's chaos in here. You need to clean up and air your room out." Laura goes on as she tries to straighten up my room a little bit. Laura crosses the room and opens the blinds allowing the sunshine to shine through.

Laura takes a seat at the edge of my bed. She puts a hand on my leg and squeezes. "I hate seeing you like this. You're pacing all through the night, you stink so I know you haven't showered and you haven't left your room in days." 

She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out an orange pill bottle, "You're relapsing. You can't just stop taking your medication and you know this. You know what awaits if we go down this road and you promised me."

I wish her words were enough to convict me but they don't. I can't seem to feel her words. I can't feel anything right now. "Is this about Kendra finding your darkroom? No one should have that kind of power over you and set you back like this." I roll over, turning my back to her, and wrap myself in my blanket. 

"Not everything is about Kendra"

 Laura jumps up and comes around the bed, "Then what is this about? Is it about the phone calls because we can just change your phone number, we've done it before. You don't have to live at the mercy of this man."

I don't answer her and I can see the hopelessness start to seep into her eyes. She has no idea how to help me and frankly, I don't think anyone can help me. Laura kneels beside my bed and puts a hand on me, "Do you think this is what she would have wanted for you? If she knew who he was and what he'd do to you?"

I know what she's trying to do but the truth is that  I wouldn't know. I wasn't allowed to know anything about her so I have no idea what she would've wanted and I will never know. Laura leans in to give me a hug and she holds me tight, "She really wanted to meet you."

Laura leans back and wipes the tears from her eyes. "You were her greatest joy and I made a promise that I would take care of you. I need you to be okay. Promise me that you will be okay" She begs of me.

I want to make that promise to her and mean it. But, if I say those words it will just be that. Words. For her sake, I tell her that I will be okay but I know that it won't be. Not when it comes to him, to Alabama, to any of it. Laura rises from the floor, leaves the pill bottle on my dresser, and finally leaves my room.

The moment the door is closed, I close my eyes as the darkness surrounds me once again. A lump forms in my throat and I will myself not to cry. I've spent too much time crying about my situation. My phone vibrates from the floor and I feel a chill run down my spine.

I look over and recognize the number that is calling. The tears that I fight back spill over as I close my eyes. I put my hands over my ears to drown out that sound. The sound of him calling.

"Please stop"