Misty II

[28] The Pain Of Longing

The night wasn't just good. But mesmerizing.

The stars above were twinkling so bright beside the brightest Moon I had ever seen. I could make out the constellations.

I had never experienced this view before because of always sleeping inside the house with Gran. We didn't have a terrace but an attic. Neither we had ever done camping in the backyard or something.

Also, even on windy days or just the moments of adoring the night sky, I hadn't noticed stars like this before. Because of the pollution that was always clouded in between.

Like a Mist.

The wall. The barrier.

But Mom had told me that it was wrong. Mist was the bridge.

Blinking softly, I kept staring above. The soft wind was bringing the faint howls from the downtown to my ears. The voices were echoing.

But Karam's deep snores were right above my head. They weren't as loud as of aged people. But they were audible.

During all our nights back at the room, I hadn't heard these intense snores before. Maybe, they were a bit loud today because of being sleep deprived for two days.

I had caused it though. All the havoc I created at knowing that he was a father.

He had asked me to be honest to myself.

How could I be when I didn't know what I wanted to feel anymore?

I hadn't got the time actually.

Now, I had. But revising all the happenings of past months and recalling all the incidents, I had concluded one thing.

The whole universe was trying to bring me here.

From Lexi's random joke over being 'adopted' to me going to the attic casually. The wooden box in the attic caught my attention. Boom. I got the secrets out. The forbidden one.

The Pandora box of my life.

Gran had warned me to be soft on Mom even after everything. But I tried to be rude to her and ended up irking Pete. The consequences were the kidnapping and living with them forcefully.

Everything that happened in between was something I had longed for whole of my life. I enjoyed it. The pure bliss. But all those intense lectures of mythology classes, secret conversations with Stephen and my own curiosity trying push aside every curtain hiding some mystery, were my own doings.

No one was asking me to do things that could lead me across this border.

If I looked and remembered properly, I was given the chances to save myself.

Alpha Rucus' appearance in my dreams, the continuous threats of not crossing the green belts, still staying there after the full moon episode with Natalie, waiting until the mating ceremony, taking part in everything, meeting all the packs and ignoring the signs.

Leo was attacked and Gilbert sent me right off. Thomas and Natalie took me there too. But being scared herself and still not sure of herself being saved from Lycans, she came along too. At last, she asked me to hide under the tub and I didn't.

Before everything, I could have just taken the sign when my own curiosity was rising for mythology classes. I did this to myself. I got myself involved.

All my life, I asked to be with my family; to be one of them; to have a life like them.

Now here I was.

Because of whom? Philosophically, myself. Technically, Pete.

I still didn't want to forgive him for what he did. Especially I didn't know what was the actual reason behind his act.