playlist (leaked) : alejandro rosario

𝟎𝟏𝟗. 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

the guilt hit natalia all at once when ivy's eyes watered. natalias face softened, and her mouth twitched as she was trying to keep herself from crying. she felt like her throat was closing and like she couldn't breath. she was having an anxiety attack, and she needed to sit down because if not, she was just going to collapse.

natalia held her head and fell to the floor against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. she stared at the floor, not wanting to see the distressed looks of her friends.

"we aren't mad at you, we understand." catherine told her, grabbing natalias attention. she stared at catherine and catherine never seen natalia sadder than she was now. catherine noticed the look in her eyes and she was basically begging for help, for anything that would help her heal fast so things could go back to normal but natalia knew that's not how it worked.

"we know you're going through a lot, natalia. we know you're the closest to ezequiel but you don't have to shut us out." alvaro chipped in. anyone who knew alvaro knew he was terrible at hiding his emotions, so when he broke down crying, it was no surprise. he was the type of person to hurt whenever he saw his friends hurt and cry whenever he saw his friends cry.

"let's not forget your mom and dad. i know things haven't been the best with them, but they constantly ask about you, hermana." leslie finally spoke. leslie was so upset when natalia told her she was returning to san diego. leslie and natalia didn't get the summer they wanted last summer because leslie was pregnant, so this summer was suppose to be theirs. there was no way they could have their summer if natalia went back to san diego, and she did.

"and what i've been trying to say for the longest, but you blocked me on everything." sierra interrupted. "i'm not mad at you, nati. i miss my best friend, and although i can't understand why you did what you did, i forgive you." sierra told her. after everything happened, sierra was so mad. how could she befriend a bitch who would do a two-timing thing like this? she would have least expected it from natalia. she wanted to beat natalias ass, but sierra was so mad she saw red and didn't think she should act upon it. it took a lot for her to genuinely forgive her, but she did it. and she was proud of herself for forgiving someone who probably wouldn't be forgiven by anyone else.

tears ran down natalias cheeks as she heard those three words. i forgive you. she quickly wiped her tears and stood up, walking towards the door and staring at alejandro.

"take me home." she told him, but he shook his head. after hearing everyone express their feelings towards her, she still didn't want to be around them. he couldn't understand why. alejandro thought she was just being hard-headed, and she was. "what more do you want from me, alejandro? i listened to what they had to say now let me go back home."

"you're not going home, natalia." alejandro sternly told her. she turned on her heels and walked to the back door, staring mattia in his eyes. mattia swallowed them lump in his throat as he stared at her.

"mattia," natalia softly said. she wanted so badly to hug him, but she knew that wouldn't be the best move. "please let me go home."

she knew how to get to him. the sad little voice she made broke his heart. he would do anything for her to be happy, but he knew that if he did let her go then she wouldn't be happy any time soon.

"can't you see natalia? you have people who care about you and you're still shutting them out. God, you're so stubborn. let them love you during this time because you need it." mattia spoke, biting the inside of his cheek after he was finished. natalia was taken by surprise, and she was upset that she couldn't manipulate him into letting her leave.

"you wanna shut us out?" ivy finally asked, taking natalia by surprise. natalia turned to stare at ivy and seen tears streaming down her face. "fine! but at least visit ezequiel, please. we don't know how much longer he's got, natalia." ivy cried. natalia felt arms wrap around her and couldn't help but break down once she heard ivy's sobs. she wrapped her arms around her friend, and the two stood there. they held one another and cried.

"i'm so sorry i haven't been here, i'm so sorry." natalia cried. she finally completely broke. she was finally letting herself feel every emotion that's been waiting to hit her that she's been too scared to let overcome her. but once ivy hugged her, it was like she couldn't contain her emotions for any longer. they all just came out.

that night, natalia went home. back to her real home. alejandro was staying over to make sure she would be okay and that she didn't try to disappear in the middle of the night. he would be sleeping on her floor.

she hasn't spoken a word to him. she was mad at him for not giving her the time she needed, but she needed to realize that she didn't have that time and she needed to make amends as soon as possible.

she was sound asleep, finally getting the rest she needed. he was tossing and turning all night long, upset that she was mad at him once again. but he did what he had to do, and he wasn't sorry about it. part of healing is confrontation, and she hated confrontation. he didn't understand how she expected herself to heal if she wasn't going to confront her problems head on.

he was also worried tomorrow all hell would break lose when they go visit ezequiel. he prayed that ezequiel would somehow wake up, but he worried that tomorrow would be his last day.

natalia wasn't all that good with the group, but she was better than what she was and that's all that mattered to them. there's progress where progress is wanted, and that's something she didn't understand. you have to want to be better in order for things to get better. if you don't want it, then you won't have the mental drive to get it.

so in natalias case, she had to really want things to be good with her friends in order for it to actually happen. and now that she knew she was forgiven, she wanted it more than ever.

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lyss' personal
lyrics!
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man. man, man, man! i have nothing to say
other than i hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter.

don't forget to vote + comment <3

word count: 1657