Prince Charming Must Die

35. Every Body Gets a Coffin

But given that Dru's death didn't seem imminent, and in the meantime, the egg jiggled precariously in her grasp, Ashley had to take action. "Um, let me take the dragon spawn off your hands," Ashley said, gliding forward to rescue Junior.

"Stay back," Druscilla warned between coughs.

Ashley halted, held her breath, and prayed for Junior's safety, while Ruth whined, pacing across the snow, whipping her tail like a rattlesnake, as she blasted the air with fire, not daring to flame Druscilla for fear she would drop the egg.

"Don't worry, Ruth," Derek said. "We'll get Junior back."

Ashley translated Derek's assurances to the dragon to calm her down before she flamed someone by accident.

"It will be difficult," Ruth said, voice shaking. "Druscilla may be a novice, but all she needs to do to wreak untold havoc is open her big mouth and utter a powerful-enough incantation."

"She can't incant if she's choking to death," Ashley offered hopefully.

"Perhaps, but thank that hot prince for his gallantry anyway," Ruth added politely.

"What'd she say?" Derek asked.

"She said thank you," Ashley explained to Derek.

"And what else?" Derek said.

"Nothing. That was the gist," Ashley said.

"You sure?"

"Okay, fine," Ashley snapped. "She called you a 'hot prince.'" As if Derek didn't have a big enough ego already.

Derek flipped his hair. "Thought so."

Sadly, Druscilla did not expire. Black tears streaked from her eyes and sizzled on the snow like acid. Could that be a side-effect of dark magic, or did she need to switch her brand of mascara?

Recovering from her coughing fit, Druscilla stomped her foot in the snow, seeming to think this would get everyone's attention. Unfortunately, as all of us know who have tried snow-stomping as an attention-seeking tool, it's not as impressive as stomping on marble, broken glass, or a wasp's nest. "Hello! Eyes on me me me. I have sooooo much to rub in about how I've outsmarted you at every turn." Ashley opened her mouth to say something in response, but words failed her. "Much better. As long as no one makes any sudden move or tries to flame anyone, and by 'anyone,' I mean me, Junior will live. I can't say no harm will come to him as he will, of course, be subjected to experiments and daily blood draws, which I'm told can be pretty painful. Oh, the sweet sound of suffering."

"She's a gruesome whoreson," Derek swore, eyes protruding—pupils mere pinpricks within bright green irises. He bared his teeth, and a line of drool leaked from the corner of his mouth. Ashley had never seen him this angry, even when forced to climb up a filthy chimney knowing there wouldn't be a bathtub, stocked with premium hair products, available on the other end.

Dru gave Derek the once-over and licked her red lips. "The green prince is so cute when he's angry. I might need to do a few experiments on him too." She wriggled her eyebrows. "In the interest of science."

"Trust me, sis," Ashley said, "science is not interested in Derek."

"Hey," Derek complained. "Ruth begs to differ. Right, old girl?"

Gerald translated for the dragon, who responded by taking a flying leap in front of Derek, glaring at Druscilla, and clawing the air as if to demonstrate how much she wanted to shred Dru into snack-sized strips. Not only was Ruth furious about her egg, but now she also appeared to be protective of Derek.

"Better be careful, lass," Terrowin said. " I think Ruth here intends to have ye fer her supper. She's partial to her offspring and our greenie prince here."