Life as a Hijabi

Chapter 7 - The Great Gatsby

Zahra's POV

I hadn't been this emotional since moving to America, but I was really hurt. I had wanted nothing more than to fit in and please people but I had come to realise that people would never be satisfied with who I was. I sat on the bench until the sun had set and the time for Maghrib (evening prayer) had passed. I knew that I was running late to pray but I was in such a bad mood that I purposefully chose to delay my prayer. I got up and walked around the neighbourhood and stumbled across a mosque that was tucked behind the park. I noticed people entering the mosque, and realising that it was nearly time to pray Isha (night prayer), I hurriedly entered the mosque and made ablution before heading into the ladies' prayer hall at the back and began to pray. It had been a long time since I had associated myself with any Islamic group or society and I missed it a lot; spending my time at the university with my non-muslim best friend meant that I usually had to end up rushing my prayer as I felt bad making her wait all the time. 

I noticed a woman in her twenties constantly look at me through the corner of my eyes whilst I was making dua after praying. After getting ready to leave, the lady came up to me with an ear to ear smile.

'Assalamu alaikum (peace be upon you) sister. Are you ok? You seemed a little distraught when you came in, is there anything that I can do to make you feel better?' she asked.

'Walaikumasaalm. Erm, no I'm alright thanks' I responded, not wanting to unload all of my worries on this stranger.

'Ok, well if you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm here at this mosque everyday from 5 till 8 teaching the little ones. Oh, silly me, I forgot to properly introduce myself; I'm Fahmidah,' she said, whilst still smiling.

'Well thanks I guess. I'm Zahra. Look erm, I've got to go back home now, I haven't told my dad that I'd be this late. I'll see you around Fahmidah,' I smiled, grateful for the gesture, and with that, I walked out of the mosque and took the correct bus home.

Half an hour later, I arrived, only to see an angry Ahmed waiting in the living room. 

'Zahra where have you been? I've called numerous times and you haven't picked up any of my calls! I know I'm pretty lax when it comes to house rules, but that's because I thought you were responsible. What is going on?' he vented.

'I left a note on the fridge Dad,' I weakly responded.

'That note was left there hours ago! I expect you to at least call me when it gets dark outside!' he continued.

Still upset and anxious, I nodded my head at Ahmed, promising him to never to have a replay of the day's events. I then proceeded to go upstairs to my room and take my hijab off, before having a soothing shower and then dozing off to sleep.

--- 

The next day I woke up early to fit in some time for a morning run. I figured working out would be a healthy way to take my mind off the stress of university and my friendship circles.

I went downstairs in the kitchen and made myself and Ahmed some fried eggs and baked beans before heading out into the forest behind the house.

After two hours of light sprints around the forest, I familiarised myself with my surroundings. On of the tall oak trees, a flyer was pinned saying 'Open Air Cinema Featuring 'The Great Gatsby' at 8'. The Great Gatsby was one of my favourite novels and hence why I made a mental note to make sure that I came to watch the film later that evening. 

I headed back home and went to have a shower and then attempted some form of revision. I stared at my laptop screen whilst in the midst of writing an essay before I decided to pick up my phone and call my mother.