Adrift

Prologue

“I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love doesn't make things nice — It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die...”
       — Ronny Cammareri (Moonstruck, 1987)

“Do you remember those words I said to you? That day when I discovered you were going to disappear; it was the first time I felt true betrayal-that day my heart broke and my mind became fragmented. I embraced you and held on for dear life.
I pressed my face against your chest and felt your body shake under the impact of my uncontrolled sobbing. I felt so hollow inside. You were on your deathbed, inches away from Hades.”

•♦•♦•♦

Like every other day in this mad city, the fiery sun was on an all-out attack, completely unrelenting with its unforgiving heat. The temperature was probably 38°C at least. I was already sweating so much that I felt dehydrated.

I was looking for someone; I came a long way looking for them and it took a toll on my body.
A little scouring revealed a shady tree where I took cover from the dastardly heat. Awash with delirium and a terrible lethargy, it was all I could do to remain conscious.

My eyes roamed but rarely settled on anything, I was spent in every regard.
That's why it feels so incredulous, that the moment my eyes rested on you, I thought, yes! I found you.

It was beyond a mere physical semblance to the person I once knew; the familiar flame kindled and burned inside of me, an electric shock shot through my spine and hit my soul. The deepest recesses of my core that I once thought dead came alive and vibrated in uniformity like a tuning fork. Memories and feelings long repressed were awoken.

The throes of the afflictions that plagued me now ceased to exist.
Somehow, I knew that I needed no further confirmation.

My heart hadn't throbbed like that in a long time.

You had this little yellow bag slung over your shoulder. I really wonder what you could fit in that. It had a big smiling emoji face printed on the side.

How cute.

You had a gingerly gait, soft footsteps like you were going to unfurl your wings and fly away any moment. You carried yourself like you didn't have a care in the world. Short black hair stopping just right below your ears gave you a baby-face.

Then, there was this spirited air about you. It was strange. This version of you is so full of life, so pure, untouched, and overflowing with a fiery sense of purpose.

The situation had me at nonplus. It was like looking at a you, that was you, and also wasn't you at the same time.

My eyes roamed the entirety of your body, simultaneously taking mental notes of every little detail it gleaned from the work of art that is you. I would remember you later in my dreams, I was certain of it.

Your graceful march came to an abrupt end when the heel of your shoe got caught in a tiny hole on the road. You struggled to maintain your balance, you succeeded too, congratulations you have my respect. You looked about with a nervous smile on your face and it was the funniest thing-I could barely keep myself from bursting into laughter.

Before I knew it, you had already regained your composure and was bounding steadily for the bus station. I found myself staring at your profile as it gradually disappeared from my sight. I was wondering what it would be like to know you this time. For you to know me.

I thought it would make such a great story. Like we were always meant to be you know?

Partners forever, never to be put asunder.

Do you know that thing they say, about when the devil wants to tempt you?

They say he gives you a gift you simply cannot refuse.

I'll take my chances anyday, so long as, it is for you.