l o v e m e • s k e p h a l o

1 | Self-hatred

!!!WARNING!!!
this chapter includes triggering topics such as :
cutting

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l̶͎̬̎͛̍̈́̀̚ ̵̨̧͎̯̳̫̙̩̤̰̬͂̍̆̒̽̀̍͋̈͗̈̈͝ơ̷̧̞̬͈̳̲͙̼̦͔̄̇̈́̈̓̈́̄̑̉̈̀̊̓́̃̿͛̊̀̈́̅͘͠͠͝ ̷̛̺̟̜̩̻͇̳͇͙̰̲̩̤̝̖̪͕̔̒̊̆͊̈́͑̄̀͌̽͆͒̐͛̂̚̕͜͜͝v̵̛̰͍͕̐̍͊͗̂͗̓́̅͑̂͘̚͜ ̸̢̨̪̼̱̥̫͔̦̭͔̙͎̖̤̖̱̣̰̖̯͈̺͒̓͂̚͝͠͝ͅͅȩ̵̨̛̲̦͖̟̟̗̦̠͍͗͛͒͂͋̄͒̏̑̉͆͌͘͘͠͠ ̸̡͕͍͔͖̜͙̬̳̮̤͈͉͙̩͕́͒́́̏͆̍̈́̅͋̆̾͒͛̍͜͜͝͝ ̵̞̪̻͇̼̺̤̉̎̄̆͑̈́̍m̴̱̖͚̤̮̬̻̖͓̱͎͎͔̪͙̱̗̝̔͆͌̚ͅ ̵͇̘̭̹̝͚͕̥̩̲̂́ͅȩ̷̡̡̛̖͎̞͖̹͇̣̭̼̯͙̱̻̣͓̟̯̞͍̹͛͆̍̒̅̒̈́͊̓͊̐̄̋̌̓͛͠ͅ, hurt me.

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Darryl's POV

The first cut, then the second. Every single time I slide the razor along my wrist, the deep red colour flows slowly down my arm.

Each cut gets deeper, each time the amount of blood increases. I look down on my arm, realising the sink is quite covered in my blood. Getting slightly dizzy at this thought, I press the blade one last time against my wrist.

I slit open my skin, blood already making its way out. I press deeper, at first wincing at the sudden pain. Smiling, I look at the cuts scattered on my arm. The pain, this feeling is my everything.

Breathing out, I put the blade back on my sink, thereon washing the wounds with warm water. When I finish cleaning my sink, I grab some bandages and wrap them around the bruised part.

"I gotta buy more bandages..."

And with that, I face the mirror.

"You're ugly."

I point at my reflection in the dirty mirror.

"You're fat, pale like a vampire. You're just-"

"unattractive. Stupid. Gross."

I sigh when I feel my eyes starting to water.

"No wonder he won't notice me."

With my hands clenched into fists, I walk out of the bathroom, grab my schoolbag and leave the house.

Walking in the direction of my school, I put my earbuds in and start listening to music, when I notice someone familiar.

There he is, with his light blue hoodie and his trendy ripped black jeans, which uncovered a part of his skinny legs.

"Halloo nerd!"

Suddenly Dave appears next to him, he's also quite popular because of his looks and his grades.

"How's it going?"

And with those two, I reach the school. Sauntering down the hallway, I find my locker and put my bag in it, when I suddenly hear his voice once again.

"I haven't studied for physics, dude!"

I see him standing next to his locker, still with Dave, but now Vincent is also with them.

"But I'm good at physics, so I am probably fine."

He takes out a folder and skims a couple of worksheets. I sigh and close my locker, when I gaze back to the three to notice Zak looking into my direction for a second.

Was he looking at me?

Shaking my head at this muffiny thought, I feel my cheeks heating up a bit. I walk towards my english class, while holding my books with both my hands. I walk past Zak and his friends and dare not to make any eye contact, my face turned to the floor.

Will he ever notice me?

•°•°•°•°•°•

hurt me.

l̶̘̦̄͗̒o̴͙͉͌̿v̵̅̕͘ͅḙ̶̌͆ͅ ̴̪͋͜m̶̢̭̦̓e̷̲͚̐͋͋.̷͕̝̭͂̔̐