You [Hoseok ff] ✅

35

Hoseok's POV

"Y/N, we've arrived," I woke her up, whispering softly so that I didn't accidentally woke Hee Young too.

We had a lot of fun today, and my phone memory was full with recordings of laughs from my two most loved persons in the world.

Y/N scrunched her nose a little, coming back from her sleep and blinked her eyes cutely to adjust her sight to her surrounding.

"Oh, sorry I fell asleep. Where's Hee Young?" she asked, still sleepy, and stretched her hands a little from her seat. My head was now rested on the steering wheel with my eyes stayed on her.

I missed looking at her waking up.

We might not be all lovey dovey in the past, but I did sometimes woke up before her if I had important meetings, and I'd looked at her from the mirror as I dressed, and quietly smiles looking at her routines right after she woke up.

She'd drink a small amount of water by the nightstand.

She'd stretch her limbs.

She'd repair her bed hair a little, tying it into a messy bun or just a simple ponytail.

She'd yawn, rubbing her eyes and looking at any new notifications from her phone.

She'd slapped her cheeks softly a few time to fully wake up.

Only then she'd get out of the bed and straightened the sheets, together with tidying up the comforter and all.

And since she knew my busy schedule, she'd go to cook breakfast first after a simple wash of her face, leaving the room after the small good mornings were exchanged between us.

I wondered if she would still do the same routine after all these years.

"Still at the back. I don't feel like parting, Y/N. I want us to live together," I whispered out my honest thoughts, looking for her reaction. She stared back into my eyes with a small smile, and I was sure I almost convinced her to accept me back, but she didn't give any answer to my words.

"Let's get Hee Young to her bed first, and we'll talk over coffee?" she invited, and I agreed immediately.

She unfastened her seat belt and opened the door. Following her movements, I walked out the car and moved to her side. She opened the door to the back seat and I touched her shoulder, making Y/N turned her face to my direction.

"I'll do it," I said, and she willingly stepped aside, letting me take care of Hee Young and cradled the little girl gently in my arms without waking her up.

We walked into the house and saw Seokjin and Namjoon at the living room. I greeted them with a small bow and a smile as Hee Young still in my arms, and Seokjin immediately got up with a welcoming smile on his face.

"Oh my, the baby's sleeping. Y/N, show him the way to your room quick and let Hee Young rest," he whispered, not wanting to disturb the sleep of the young girl, and Y/N obliged without much thought.

We walked upstairs, and I bowed a little again at the couple, feeling glad that Seokjin trusted me enough to allow me to go upstairs, to Y/N’s room.

"Hee Young still hasn't got her own room yet, because I'm the one who didn't want to part with her," Y/N informed me as I placed the little girl in the middle of the king-sized bed, and I chuckled silently.

"You're a cuddler?" I asked, feeling regret that I never tried to know about these little things of her before.

"Sort of, I guess? I just love having her in my arms," she answered, leaving a small kiss on Hee Young’s forehead carefully.

"I wish I'd get the chance to cuddle with you two someday," I spoke out slow, earning a beautiful pink hue on her cheeks.

"I'll make us coffee and we can talk longer," she voiced out after I pecked Hee Young’s forehead one last time. The girl was a deep sleeper for sure, as she didn't even flinch once at all our actions.

"About us cuddling?" I teased, this time earning a small pout and furrowed eyebrows from the beautiful woman.

And I was the one who felt attacked at the moment.

She never did that kind of faces when she was with me. But after a few months spending time observing and appreciating both her and Hee Young, I managed to see a different Y/N.

A more expressive Y/N.

Time probably changed her, with her being a mother and living in a happier surrounding, enough for her to feel free in expressing herself better compared to when she lived with me.

It made me feel good in one way seeing her like this, however also being sad that I couldn't see this side of her when we lived together due to my own behavior.

Unfortunately, the rare cute reaction of hers disappeared as immediate as it appeared. She facepalmed herself after that, before wordlessly walked out the room and I followed behind her with a smile still on my face.

She did realized that she had unintentionally acted cute towards me.

Settling ourselves in the kitchen area, I realized that the couple had already left the living room, probably giving us space to talk. Y/N handed me my coffee and I took a sip carefully, feeling nostalgic all over again at the taste of coffee made by her.

Observing her sipping her own coffee, I waited for her to continue our topic earlier, just taking in her undying beauty in my eyes.

I just miss her so much. 

"I don't want you to think that I don't trust you, Hoseok. I do trust that you'll be a great father to Hee Young," she brushed her hair to the back, pulling them to rest one one side of her shoulder. Her fingers firmly wrapped around the coffee mug, reluctant to continue her words.

"But you don't trust me - for you," I said knowingly in a whisper, continuing her unspoken words. She looked up from the mug and into my eyes at the words that left my mouth, her eyes glassed with tears.

I wanted to reach my hand over the table to remove her tears, but stopped as I was scared of her reaction if I were to touch her.

Would she flinch away?

The thought only was enough to make tears welled in my own two eyes.

I couldn't blame her for feeling afraid of me.

I did this to myself.

I was the one who implanted the negative feelings inside her.

I was the one who took her by force that night.

"Do you hate me?" I looked down, throat tightening with all the emotions I felt.

Was there going to be no chance for me to have her in my life again?

Did she not want to forgive me?

Did she not want me anymore?

Did she hate me that much?

"I never hated you," her small voice shocked me, and I looked up in search for her eyes, looking for sincerity in her words.

She returned the stare, wiping her tears away and smiled a small smile.

"I don't hate you," she repeated.

It's genuine.