The Stand In

Chapter 20

"Okay, it sounds ominous.." Zak says stepping back slightly.

"I didn't get my bruises from falling over. Well, I did. Fall over, I mean. But it wasn't me being clumsy." I say causing him to frown slightly.

I know I'm confusing him, but I can't get myself to say the worlds. It's ridiculous, I know. But it's also the fear of seeing the look in his eyes change.

Come on, Elle.

What would Beyonce do?

"So you got the bruises, falling over.." Zak leads.

"I had a seizure." I say causing him to look up from my arms and to my face.

"A seizure."

"An epileptic seizure... I have epilepsy. I got the bruises from a grand mal seizure."

There. I said it.

"A grand ma- you have seizures. What's a grand mal seizure? Is that a big one?"

I nod.  "I have warnings, auras that's what they call them. I ignored them, sometimes I don't realise they are happening, until the grand mal hits."

"So you fit? Like convulsions on the floor?"

"Yes. But not all the time."

He looks over me before stopping at my wrist. "It's a seizure watch. That's why Henry and Mia were so concerned."

Henry? Mia? How does he know them?!

"How do you-"

"They called me, well you, when you left your phone at mine. They were worried because there wasn't any communication from your watch. I thought it was weird at first.. Now it makes sense."

"Oh..."

Mia never mentioned that little chestnut of information.

"I- can we sit down? This shouldn't be a standing conversation." He says guiding me to the couch. He sits down too and looks at me. "How long have you had them?"

"A while.. I'm on medication to control them."

"Does it help?"

"Yeah, it eases the ferocity of them."

"How bad do they get?"

It's always the question I dread. But it's one that people always want to know...

"They can get pretty bad. Mia got me the watch after I had a bad one at home, I was alone.. She didn't know until I came in with black eyes from hitting the floor so hard."

His eyes widen slightly. "What can stop them? Can they stop them?"

"It's an ongoing condition. There's ways to manage them, there's medication, surgery-"

"Brain surgery."

I nod.

"I couldn't do that... Would you do that? Have it done?"

"If it helped. Then yeah, I guess it would be something I'd have to think about and consider, really hard." 

He thinks about that for a second before looking at my arms. "Can I see them? The bruises?"

It's a weird request, but I undo the sleeves of my shirt and let him roll them up. I watch him carefully inspect my arms before turning them over.

"It must be scary, for you."

"I don't know they are happening sometimes. It's like passing out. One minute you're there, the next.."

He frowns quickly before rubbing his thumb over a bruise gently "Were you alone?"