Serendipity (Ryeji)

A Loss

You're too late...

She's gone...

Yeji repeated those words over and over in her head, losing track of time while staring at what she thinks is the ceiling. She's upset with herself, hopelessly waiting on a message or call from Ryujin. But as the clock ticked, her anxiety worsened. Two hours had passed.

Yeji received several notifications since then. She lunged toward her phone at the sound of each ping, except none were from who she needed it to be. More recently, Yiren messaged her begging for help with some math homework, and she had a missed call from Chaeryeong, followed by a text regarding Ryujin. Yeji failed to muster the will to send anything in return.

Another thirty minutes had dragged, and she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to talk to Ryujin. Yeji could only imagine what she was going through, certain Ryujin would try to stay strong for her parents. Yeji wants to be her rock. Her anchor. Her shoulder to lean on. The person she falls into when she feels weak.

"I need to see her." Determined eyes sharpen as she sat up on the edge of the mattress, focused. She shook her feet, thinking of a solution, some form of transportation.

A car.

"MOM!" Yeji leaped off the bed and ran downstairs, nearly tripping down the hall that led to Mama Hwang's office space.

"Yes? What is it— " One glance was all it took for the principal to shoot up from her office chair. "Oh my! Have you been crying??"

"I need the car."

"Wh- what? The car?" Her mom stumbles over her words, unable to catch on. "What for?"

"I need to see Ryujin. Please let me take the car."

"I- I don't know what's going on. But if you have been crying, then you shouldn't be driving, especially at night. It's too dangerous."

"This is too important, I promise I'll get there safe just trust me."

Mama Hwang contemplated this, gathering her thoughts as quickly as possible, whose tone suggested urgency. She bit her tongue, indecisive. She wanted to say yes, of course, though she was also anxious about anything that could happen during the sudden trip.

***     ***     ***

Ryujin relocated to the hotel. Her father dropped her off after they learned about the unfortunate news. She wasn't given Ryujin much choice in the matter. She didn't want her daughter to sit uncomfortably in a waiting room.

Ryujin never got to see her grandmother after she watched them rush the gurney through the double doors. She didn't think their last conversation would be the one they had before she dozed off. She couldn't believe that her parents thought it best to leave her alone, isolated in a room instead of the hospital where she was closer to them.

But maybe she should be used to this feeling. It's lingered in the shadows for years now.

Among these thoughts her girlfriend crossed her mind. Fingers hesitated as she considered returning the phone call... until she decided not to. A part of Ryujin felt guilty for that. Being upset towards Yeji for it felt wrong, and the more she thought about it, about everything, her heart grew heavier. So unbearably heavy it weighed her down. Unable to fight gravity, Ryujin sinks further into the mattress, curling into herself. A sob escapes, and in the silence of this room, she allows herself to feel.

*** *** ***

Yeji, by order of her mother, wasn't given permission to go on her own. Mama Hwang told her, despite how important this is, she wasn't allowed to drive while in this state of mind. However, Yeji's swollen eyes worried her. She still hadn't learned of the issue at hand.