The Lovely Princess & Her Knightly Brother BxB [ON HIATUS]

Chapter 18: Hidden Behind My Smile Is A Hurting Heart

WARNING: This chapter contains swearing, rape, and depressing and suicidal thoughts. If it makes you uncomfortable, feel free to stop reading.

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People usually think that our perverted King is a strong and happy person. But behind his silly acts, they don't know how much he is in pain. They don't know that behind his smile is a hurting heart, and behind his laugh is an empty soul. Look closely at him, and you will see that the man he is is not him.

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- XANDER'S POV -

Survive. 

That was all I could ever think of since I was a child.

When my twenty brothers and thirteen sisters torture me, I cry alone at night.

When the maids or servants whisper about me, I play dumb.

And when I lost my innocence to the Lenseurian knights, I want to vomit and kill myself.

But I couldn't. I couldn't leave my beloved sister alone in this hellhole. She was the only reason why I'm still alive.

Every day, it gets worse. When they attacked my body over and over again, my heart wails in agony.

It hurts, it hurts.

For three years, I hide my pain from my oblivious sister behind my smile. And she falls for it. I was relieved. It was better telling her a lie and see her smile than telling her to truth and make her cry. It's okay, I tell myself, You're doing this for her happiness.

. . .

I met a boy named John Anders. My sister had a crush on him. And surprisingly, John had mutual feelings and proposed to her. She squealed and said yes. John was happy. My sister was happy. Despite being mentally broken, I was happy as well.

...But that happiness was short-lived. At least, for me.

One day, my father brought a slut to my place and pushed her to me. "Her name is Amelia. She's your playmate. Treat her well. If you don't, I'll put a pike through your sister's head and toss her body in the ocean," he told me. I couldn't say anything oppose him. After he left, the slut walks towards me with a sinister smile on her face and destroyed me, inside and out. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run away.

But I had to endure it because it was for my sister. I'll do anything to keep her safe.

. . .

My sister came to visit me for the first time after two years when she moved into the King's palace. She wore a pretty white dress and had beautiful jewels decorating her hair and skin. As I stood next to her, I realized I looked poorer compared to her despite being a prince and felt embarrassed.

After getting rid of that feeling, I smiled at her. There were so many things I wanted to talk to her and ask her like: "How have you been" or "Is father treating you well?" or "Have you been eating well", and so on. But she slapped me before I could even part my lips to utter a word and called me names. Names that people label me, but does not and will never define me.