I Think I Love You | Randy

track 28. romeo's tune - steve forbert

"I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend, you know?" he said after a few minutes of silence.

"What am I then?" I snapped back.

"I just meant we can take our time."

"Right," I snorted. How was it possible to ease into a relationship slowly when you lived with someone? When you already knew everything about them? It wasn't as if we could go through all the normal stages of dating. We loved each other and though that should have made it easier it only made things more muddled up. Because everything essentially hinged on one decision, and it was a big one, not one that could be taken lightly. How could I possibly hand him my forever when neither of us knew whether that was something he could handle long term? We were still barely on the cusp of adulthood and Rye had only just began to come to terms with his identity. There was every chance he would realise a year down the track that he wanted to be a normal twenty year old guy; sleeping with different girls or guys and living his life freely, not weighed down by a love that was too heavy for him to carry at this stage of his life. That would be normal, and something I would have to accept, but it would also break me beyond repair and so I wasn't ready to risk it.

"What's in there, baby?" He tapped on my temple as I pulled away from his chest to look at him.

"You are."

"That can't be right because you don't look happy."

"I'm just confused," I mumbled.

"So I'm still you're favourite person?"

Despite myself, I smiled. "You know you are."

"Phew," he teased with exaggerated relief. "Had me worried there."

"Shut up," I chuckled. He stared into my eyes, stroking my cheek before he leaned in to kiss me softly. "It's Monday," I whispered against his lips.

"Fuck the rules," he mumbled, kissing me again, harder. I let him do it because I was so in love with him, moving my lips against his slowly. The barrier had been broken now and I had fuck all chance of getting back on the other side.

"Did you ever figure it out?" I let the question slip when we came up for air. "Your sexuality?"

"It's not exactly a black and white thing," he replied. "I don't even know if there is an exact answer for that kind of question."

"Of course not," I sighed, knowing it was true despite it not being exactly what I'd wanted to hear.

"I know I want you though," he said, pressing another soft kiss to my lips.

"Yeah, today you do," I muttered sullenly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you still might not be gay, Rye." His face hardened and I placed a hand against his cheek to show him it wasn't something I was holding against him. But it was influencing my uncertainty. "How can I go into this if I don't know when you're going to change your mind?"

"When?"

"Yes, when." He looked almost angry for a second, so I butted my forehead against his softly. "I don't blame you for it, okay? I'm just scared."

Rye paused in thought for a moment. "You were the best sex I've ever had, you know? So I'm not not gay."

"For fuck's sake," I chuckled. "I'm being serious here."

"So am I," he smirked, reaching down to grab a handful of my ass. I groaned, reaching behind me to pull his hand up again, not able to concentrate when he was touching me like that.