secret diary ; yeongyu [writing]

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Wednesday

That day Beomgyu woke up earlier than usual and chose a good outfit to wear. Not that he wanted to look good, he felt like that. "Yeonjun is handsome, I can be handsome too" he said looking at himself in the mirror.

During the lessons he only thought about what Yeonjun told him to do at lunch. 'How can I flirt with him? Maybe I have to ask Yeosang... no he's definitely not good at it.' he thought.

At the end he gave up and just went and bought the frappe with Yeonjun, walking then at the table where he and another girl were sitting. She was talking nonstop, and from Yeonjun's expression Beomgyu could imagine how annoyed he was.

At that point Beomgyu felt a strange emotion coming from his heart. It was like anger mist of sadness, possible? Beomgyu didn't know what it was, because he never really experienced jealously.

Yes, Choi Beomgyu was jealous, but too stupid to know the reason.

"Excuse me." Beomgyu interrupted her (Ji-eun) and sat down, putting an arm around Yeonjun's shoulder "Yinnie, here's your frappe. I bought it for you..." Beomgyu whispered, hoping to seem he was flirting with him.

Ji-eun looked a little annoyed, surprised and pissed by Beomgyu sudden appareance. "Who are you?" she asked suspiciously. "Not your business" Beomgyu replied and put his eyes back on Yeonjun.

The blue haired boy chuckled and whispered to him "Yinnie? That's a cute nickname!" "Shut up!" Beomgyu said and blushed a little. He still wasn't used to that, especially when it was Yeonjun who flirted with him.

Then the two boys stood up and held hands together, walking away, but before Beomgyu turned back once again and whispered to Ji-eun "Don't you dare to touch him". After he said that he felt a lot better.

Beomgyu smiled and didn't even noticed him and Yeonjun were still holding hands. Yeonjun tapped him on the shoulder "Hmm, Gyu? Don't you think you have been a little too rude to her?" he asked.

Beomgyu stopped and looked at him straight into his eyes "But you weren't rude enough when you threatened me in the bathrooms huh? You want me to be your boyfriend?! Well, that's how a jealous boyfriend acts! Aren't you happy now?".

Yeonjun lowered his head "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just asking". But then his tipical smile appeared again "So you're saying you're jealous?! You're so cute!".

Beomgyu sighed "I remember you that you are straight, and you don't like boys". Yeonjun raised his shoulders (idk if you say so in English) "Sometimes I can forget that".

"What does it mean SOMETIMES I CAN FORGET THAT?" Beomgyu asked surprised. He thought Yeonjun was straight, but like very very straight, the boy all girls wanted.

"For example when I'm with you" Yeonjun said, but as soon as his words came out of his mouth he realized and his cheeks went all red "Uh... byeIhavetogoseeyoutomorrow Gyu" he stuttered and ran away quickly, leaving a confused Beomgyu alone in the corridor.

"Did he just said...? Oh, nevermind" Beomgyu shook his head and walked away.

There was something of Yeonjun that attracted Beomgyu in a particular way. Maybe the fact he couldn't be too angry at him also if he had blackmailed (?) him, or the innocent expression he had on his face when he said sorry to him, maybe his perennial smirk that Beomgyu was used to hate...

'I like boys. But I don't like Yeonjun, I can't. He's straight! He's only using you! After Ji-eun won't annoy him anymore he'll find another girl and he won't even remember me!' Beomgyu thought.

'Wait, why I'm even thinking about this? I don't care about Yeonjun...' Beomgyu scolded himself.

Beomgyu's home

Beomgyu was walking around his bedroom making a circle since almost half an hour. "I don't like what Yeonjun is making to me, I have a bad feeling..." Beomgyu said and sat on a chair because his head was spinning.

One of these days he would tell Yeosang about that, he didn't care about Yeonjun's reaction. He would just say to Yeosang not to say or do anything, so Yeonjun won't find it out.

Beomgyu was scared, scared about how Yeonjun made him feel: confused and embarassed, angry and happy.

He didn't like the idea of being his fake boyfriend, because when that happens you don't know if it's all an act or there are real feeling.

He somehow was falling for Yeonjun and he was afraid of fall in love even more.

You might think Beomgyu's stupid to like a person like Yeonjun, who forced him on that relationship, but Beomgyu couldn't help to not start liking him. The fate is mean sometimes...

Especially when you're a boy and the person you love is straight and uses you only for an excuse...

Beomgyu didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing that Yeonjun came in his life. And all because of a diary, a fucking diary who Beomgyu had forgotten in the art class.

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884 words