Shut Up & Listen

ROSE COLORED GLASSES

Tuesday, February 11
Lonnie aka Black
3:19a

"Black, you really trust that nigga?"

"Who?"

"That nigga."

"Cobe? Yeah, with my life."

"Mm"

"What?"

"What went down?"

My brother, Jaleel, is trying to blame Cobe for what happened to me. He's been interrogating me like this since I woke up around 2a. I understand his concern, but he's concerned about the wrong thing.

"It's not his fault."

"Who's is it then? Cuz he sho ain't try to help yo ass. Daddy told me he was just standing there like a deer in headlights."

"He just don't know about all this shit. He's a good dude."

"What you mean?"

"I mean he ain't grow up like we did, he don't know the streets, he's good."

" aight, I see."

I cock my head sideways to him. I'm laying on my belly on the hospital bed in ICU. I already had my surgery thanks to my pops connections.

"Aye, you being mad disrespectful aight. I said he's good peoples why the fuck you questioning me?!"

"I'm just sayin-"

"Niggas acting like this the first time I been jumped! This ain't the first time I been shot at or stabbed and every time yal try to place the blame on some otha niggas like yal don't know what the fuck is going on!" I winced in pain from moving too much. "And guess who never left my side every time some shit like this go down? That light skin nigga. That's my boy, put some respect on it Jah."

My monitor is beeping now. I'm heated and my blood pressure is probably sky high.

"Fuck, Jaleel. You always taking Daddy side like he ain't the reason I'm constantly at deaths muthafuckin door."

"So you saying the shit ain't have nothing to do with 'ol boy?"

I just stare at him with probably blood shot eyes.

"I seen him before... he was chillin with that Mo nigga."

"Whatchu tryna say Jah?"

"How are you okay with yo homie chillin with niggas you 'on fuck with Lonnie?"

I roll my eyes and lay my head back down on the pillows. I know he's right, cuz I'm not cool with it. I've never been cool with it. But Cobe is my nigga and I ain't giving him up.

"Exactly. Dumb ass."

The room is silent besides the beeping of the monitor. I'm grateful for the silence. I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep and my mind drifts to Cobe.

I remember our first time meeting.

We were at an assembly at school, he was two grades below me, a freshman. He was looking up the bleachers behind him at this girl. He smiled and licked his lips at her. I couldn't stop watching him. Then his eyes drifted over to me as if he could feel my eyes on him.

He looked me up and down but my eyes never left his face. The interaction only lasted a few seconds but it felt longer. A few minutes later, I caught him looking up at me again. He blushed when our eyes locked and he turned around quickly.

I didn't see him again until a few days later after school. He was standing at his locker. The halls had already been clear for at least ten minutes at that point. I walked over to him and said hey. We been cool ever since.

Every time I think of Cobe, I see the boy at the bottom of the bleachers blushing up at me. He was so innocent, so sweet. He's my best friend. He's my lover. I'll never give him up.

I was awakened by my daddy calling my name. I looked up at him through the sleep stuck in my eyes. Cobe was with him, and some other guy I didn't recognize.