She's the Girl | A Marauders Love story

Chapter 43

Fights and Hurt Feelings

September, October, and November passed in a blur of studying and pop quizzes, and before Hailey knew it, they were halfway through December. There was a mock NEWT for transfiguration, and then it was Christmas break. Hailey sunk her head onto her bed. She was trying to study, but James insisted that it was just a mock exam, so it wasn't super important.

"James! It's important that we're prepared for the mock exams so it's as close as possible to when we take the real exams. I can't have you bugging me right now, please."

James sighed and sat down next to her, opening one of the other textbooks.

"Are you sure we can't take a break?" He asked. Hailey just about ripped her hair out.

"James. These exams are going to shape our future. I need to be ready for them, and this mock exam is going to help me prepare. Either help me study, or get out." She pointed at the door. James's eyes widened.

"Fine, I guess you care more about a grade on a mock exam than you do about your friends and your boyfriend." He said bitterly. Hailey looked at him, amazed.

"Are you kidding me? James, this is important to me. I get that you don't agree about how important it actually is, but can't you just recognize that I want to do well on this? I just want to have a successful future. Unlike you, apparently. Clearly all you want is to have fun! Well, news flash James! Having fun isn't going to get you very far in life. The only reason you and Sirius do so well in school is because Remus and I push you. If you really don't care about your education, then I won't try to make you study. We'll see how well that turns out for you."

James looked angry. It was the first time he had been mad at Hailey alone, usually, she only saw him smile. It was a bit intimidating, but she didn't back down.

"You think you're the reason I do well in school? You obviously don't know how hard I work to do well. Hailey, I want to do well on these exams just as much as you do. I-"

Hailey laughed mirthlessly.

"Do you? Do you really? Because if you did, I think you'd be trying to study, seeing as that;s how you pass these exams! I can't deal with you right now." She turned around, not wanting to say something she'd regret.

"You know what?" James said. Hailey looked at him, staring him down. "I don't think I can deal with you at all anymore. You clearly think I'm dumb, and that you're the secret to my success. I think that's patronizing of you, and I don't want it anymore."

"What, are you saying we should break up?" Asked Hailey, not hating the idea.

"That exactly what I'm saying." James said defiantly.

"Well, I agree!" She grabbed his books and shoved them into his arms. "Goodbye, James. I'm glad I didn't make the mistake of marrying you!" She pushed him out the door and shut it behind her. She felt satisfied for a second, then sunk to the floor, filled with the dread of what she had just done. She could go and apologize, surely James would understand the stress she was under. They could make up and pretend it never happened. But, if she did that, he would have won. He'd win the argument, which she didn't want. She'd wait until tomorrow night to give him time to apologize, and if he didn't, she would.

~~~~~~

Hailey put down her quill, sighing. It had been harder to study after she and James had broken up than when he had been bugging her, she had found out. When she was left alone with her thoughts, they immediately wandered to James. She knew she had overreacted, but she just couldn't bring herself to apologize. She had talked with Marlene, Remus, and Lily, and they had all told her the same thing. Talk to him.

The problem was, she couldn't do it. It went against everything she stood for to submit like that. She knew the only reason she and James hadn't gotten back together was because they were both too stubborn to apologize, but that didn't exactly comfort her. If they dealt with their first real fight like this, how would they deal with marriage? Surely, being married was more stressful than a mock exam. Thinking about her future with James that they had planned together made her sad. Thinking about most things made her sad, actually. She had only recently started to realize how much of her life revolved around James.

Writing to Emily made her sad, because she and James had met Emily together, and he had been the first person she had shown her pen-pal assignment to. Going to see Lily made her sad, because she knew that James was just a wall away from her, most likely able to hear their conversations. Classes made her sad, because she used to sit next to James during all of her classes. Especially, going to the Room of Requirement made her sad.

Despite the fact that being in the Room of Requirement brought her mood down more than anything else, she went there almost daily to do her homework. Marlene was usually doing something with Edgar Bones in their dorm, so Hailey had found it best to go to the ROR and simply ask for a place where she could think. Currently, Hailey was sitting in a bean bag in the corner of the Room of Requirement, writing a charms essay. They went home tomorrow, but Hailey was all packed, learning that most of her clothes were actually James's, so she didn't need to pack them. She had taken all of James's things and put them outside his dorm room, after making sure he wouldn't be there. This, to Hailey, had finalized their breakup. She hadn't heard anything about how James felt about it, but she hoped it made him upset.

Finishing the essay, she curled up in a ball and started to cry. This was also part of her new routine. Cry because she let the best thing in her life get away from her. She cried for a good fifteen minutes before deciding that she needed to get back to the dorm before curfew, as she had already been out later than usual. As she finished packing up her things, she heard the door open. Looking up, she saw James walk in, unaware of her presence. She sighed, realizing there was no way out of the encounter, and stood up, drawing his attention to her. He smiled, then the smile faded and Hailey noticed how tired and worn out he looked.

She approached him cautiously.

"Hi."

James offered her a small smile.

"I guess we had the same idea."

Hailey nodded.

"It's a good place to think."

James cleared his throat.

"Right, well. You should get back to your dorm. It's almost curfew."

Hailey nodded and passed him, walking down the hall. Turning back, she called his name, feeling as though she should apologize. He turned around hopefully, meeting her eyes.

"Goodnight." Hailey chickened out. James nodded, looking disappointed, and shut the doors behind him. Hailey watched as they disappeared, feeling more hopeless than ever.