Depressed You X Chika

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(Warning: This chapter includes slight self harm. If you do not like to read that or are bothered by it, please don't read this chapter. Thx)

Chika and You had been friends for a long time. The two got along great and always seemed to laugh and smile together, but lately, You was feeling jealous and depressed. Ever since Chika had been spending a lot of time with Riko, You seemed to have lost the happy sparkle in her eyes. Her smile, laugh, and just any positivity in general was forced. She hoped no one would notice, especially not Chika. She had a feeling Chika was a bit too dense to notice though.

You was in her room at the moment, looking through some old photos from when she and Chika were little and just the two of them would play together a lot. Kanan would occasionally join them, but Chika's attention had always been mostly on You. Knowing that now all of Chika's attention was on Riko really hurt. You sighed and put the photos down, she knew she was just upsetting herself more by looking at them.

She put the photos away and sat on the edge of her bed, just starring at the floor. Since when was it so easy to be unmotivated enough to just stare at the floor and feel bored. It had become harder  to understand her own emotions recently. Ever since Chika had given her less attention. She felt selfish and greedy for getting upset over something like that, but she couldn't help it since Chika was her closest childhood friend and her crush.

She had never felt so lonely the first time she watched Chika and Riko talking with each other from about ten feet away. "Stop thinking about it!" You told herself. She didn't want to just keep upsetting herself, but her mind wouldn't listen. It just kept reminding her of all the time she spent together with Chika. They'd always went to the same school together, and they used to come over to each other's houses often.

You got up and grabbed a sharp pin she had. The thought of using a knife sent chills down her spine, so she wanted to use a sharp pin instead. She scraped it against her arms a few times quickly and strongly. Her arms started hurting, so she set the pin down and looked at them. There was a bunch of scrapes on her arm. Some were bleeding, others were just white lines. She took a deep breath and sighed. The pain was able to distract her from her thoughts and make her feel a little better.

Her parents were gone at work, so she wasn't worried about her scrapes being found out about. She knew it was wrong to hurt herself, but for some reason, seeing her arms bleed made her happy. She wasn't sure why. Maybe she was starting to hate herself for not being brave enough to try and steal Chika's attention back from Riko. Her arms was starting to bleed a lot more than she had expected it to. "I... didn't accidentally cut something important, did I?" She mumbled.

She went to the bathroom and washed her arms in the sink. Luckily she was wearing a long sleeved shirt, so she just rolled the sleeves down to cover her wounds. But unfortunately, it was a lighter colored shirt, so when her arms started bleeding again, they noticeably stained the sleeves. "Guess I need to change.." You said and walked to her room to go change into something darker colored, but then she heard the doorbell ring.

She went to go check the door and saw that Chika was outside. Wait... what was Chika doing outside her door?! She instantly forgot about the cuts on her arm and opened the door. "Hey Chika-chan! Do you need something?" She asked and forced a smile. Chika shook her head "No, I just came to see you. I didn't have anything to do today since it's a Saturday so I spent some time thinking, and I realized we haven't gotten to hang out a lot recently. So I was wondering if I could stay at your house today." Chika said.

"Oh, sure. Come on inside. It has been a while since we last hung out. We've both been busy with preparations for the upcoming show." You said. She knew she wasn't really emotionally stable enough at the moment to have Chika over, but she was so happy to be able to finally spend some time with Chika, so she didn't care. She didn't mind forcing herself to be happy the whole day. Maybe spending with with Chika would let her be happy again without having to force it. "Let's go to my room." You said and started walking towards it. Chika followed her.

Once they were in You's room, Chika closed the door behind her and walked into the room. You sat on her bed and made the mistake of putting her hands in her lap. Her arms could be easily seen now... Even someone like Chika would be able to see, and that was exactly what happened. Chika was walking towards the bed to sit next to You, when her eyes quickly glanced at You's arms and saw the blood stains.

"You-chan? What happened to your arms?" She asked. You looked down at her arms and remembered the cuts again. She started to panic. Chika was the one person she definitely didn't want to find out about her scrapes, she didn't want to call them cuts.. what if Chika became scared of her because of them, or thought You was insane?! You didn't want that. The thought that Chika might dislike her in any way was You's worst nightmare.

"I-It's nothing to worry about. No big deal." She said and patted the bed spot next to her to try to distract Chika. Chiak sat down but then grabbed You's arms to get a better look at the stains. She was unaware of the scrapes, so she didn't grab You's arms very softly. You flinched and made a little painful noise when Chika accidentally put pressure on her scrapes. Chika instantly looked suspicious and tried to roll up You's sleeve. You put her free hand on top of Chika's to try to stop her. "Ch-Chika-chan, please don't do that. Everything's fine!" You said, it was easy to hear how desperate she was. 

"You're not fine, You-chan! Why else would you flinch like that? I can tell somethings wrong with your arms. Now let me check!" Chika said and forced You's sleeve up. She gasped when she saw the scrapes and quickly rolled You's other sleeve up to see more of them. Some of the scrapes were still bleeding, while others had stopped. Her arms were a complete mess though.

"There was an angry cat-" You started to make up an excuse, but Chika quickly interrupted her "Those cuts are way too perfectly lined up to be from a cat! You... cut yourself... didn't you?" She asked. You's eyes teared up. "I... I.." She tried to talk, but she didn't know what to say. Chika hugged her and You started crying and burrowed her head into Chika's chest. After a few minutes, You managed to stop crying. "Please tell me what happened now." Chika begged.

You hesitated, but finally gave in. She couldn't keep it a secret any longer. She explained everything. Her jealousy. Her depression. Her self harm. Her negative thoughts. All of it. "Why... why did you hurt yourself and get depressed just because of me?" Chika asked and looked like she was going to cry. "Because... you're the most important person in the world to me, Chika-chan. So not being able to spend much time with you was really painful. I didn't know what else to do because I wasn't brave enough to try to ask you to spend more time with me. I felt that might be selfish. I thought maybe you preferred to spend time with Riko-chan." You explained and rubbed her eyes.

"Thats not true at all, You-chan! I like spending time with both of you a lot, Riko-chan has just needed to talk to me a lot lately since we both have to work on the song for the show. Of course I like spending time with you. I've known you since we were really little so we have a strong bond that I don't want to lose. And... over the years I've come to realize that I love you, You-chan." Chika said and confessed. You was speechless.

How could she have been so stupid? Of course Chika  liked spending time with Riko, but she also liked to spend time with and cared a lot about You and... Chika... loved her too. You was starting to tear up again. "I love you too!" She said and hugged Chika tightly. "I'll make sure you get more attention from now on. If Riko-chan gets jealous, I'll just tell her that my girlfriend, You-chan, gets my attention first." Chika said.

You smiled and pecked Chika on the lips "Thanks Chika-chan. You have no idea how much that means to me." She said. Chika smiled back "Well, I'm sure it means a lot." She said. You nodded and kept hugging her. She was so happy to finally get the attention she had been wanting for so long. "Now, let's go get those cuts cleaned up and bandaged." Chika said and smiled.

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