Breathe Slow:

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Sometimes I just want
     Somebody to hold
Am I more than
     Just someone to be molded
Do they see
     Me under the clothes and
True feelings don't show and
The truth really seems untold and
Is it cause Truth is really unknown and I'm just sayin
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me close
It's so
Cold please
Cold please
Cold please don't let me go
I know
I know
I know that pain is not the goal but
What have my actions shown
Not every choice is growth
I hear myself groan
I hear her laugh but I feel alone
I used to be grown
But then I left home and among sinners I found dissatisfactions and pleasures before unknown
And I tell myself that I'll be ok but it's not ok because the answers I found today were given to me by my feeble mind full of damaged goods and things I probably should and should not but I don't split the difference very well
Should I stay or should I sell out my closet full of living skeletons that rise when I say to hell with this and grab me by neck and then they scream out about all the things I have never been and all the sin they see in me what's with this sin again
I can't decide if I admire or desire
A vocabulary lesson that's learned hard and slow unless you've been through both and then you look back at those murky moments and try to decide who's in the right and who's in the wrong and you don't wanna put beauty on the altar but God demands the best
He demands the best and you look at your two empty hands and the inadequate fruit you feel like you produce instead
And instead of cutting off your hands and plucking out your eye you'd rather lie
Lie to your parents about why you were out so late last night and lie down with her again and listen to her singing that soft mewling sin that tickles your ears so soft and sweet within
But she holds you close and in that beautiful soft gorgeous moment you can forget about the world by feeling her instead of feeling all your doubts as they drip down onto the sheets and curl around you both to choke and choke and choke and
You stare at the ceiling while she sleeps and you try to breathe slow but the panic attack is here and it won't cease to flow

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