Peaky Blinders Imagines

"Do you love her, John?"

John Shelby Imagine #1

          When I went into John's office earlier, I didn't imagine it would've ended the way it did. I only went in to ask him a question, and I left with more questions than I had answers for.

          I knocked softly on John's door inside the gambling den. I had been avoiding him ever since his wedding to Esme. Seeing him be married off to her broke my heart into more pieces than I thought possible. I loved John so much it hurt, and I knew he loved me back, but there was no way he was going to say no to Tommy-especially if it meant ending a war between the Shelby's and the Lee's.

          I knocked again, this time a little louder than the first. Finally, John looked up from his desk and noticed me standing there. My breath faltered as he sat there staring at me. I could stare at him forever and never have a complaint.

          "Y/N, I didn't know you were working today." He said as he set the betting book down onto the desk.

          I shook my head, "I'm not. My husband is expecting me actually, I just wanted to ask you something. Need to, really. Please."

          "You can ask me anything."

          I walked inside the office, slamming the door behind me. I stayed facing the door and away from John. I couldn't look at him when I asked.

          "Do you love her, John?" I asked. It was so soft I almost didn't even hear myself ask.

          "You're gunna have to speak up." He replied. I heard him stand up.

          I turned to face him. "Do you love her, John?"

          He looked surprised. Maybe even a little hurt. He walked from around the desk and came to stand in front of me. He was much taller, almost two heads taller, so I had to look up at him.

          "Not like I do you, Y/N." He said simply. He rested a hand on my cheek and I instantly melted into his touch. "You know I would have married you years ago. But your dad married you off to some copper 'cause he didn't want you to be with a fucking blinder. Then when Tommy said my marriage would stop a fucking war I had to do it. It was just business. It still is."

          "Just business is it?" I asked, grabbing onto his hand.

          "Think of her as a fuckin' business partner."

          "Who you fuck."

          "Is that why you're upset? 'Cause I bend her over my fuckin' desk?" He removed his hand from my face, and it immediately felt cold without his touch. "You don't think I imagine you and your husband humping in your bed when you go home?"

          "I don't touch my husband, he's scum of the fucking earth. The only time he touches me is when he fuckin' beats me for refusing to be bedded by him." I immediately freezed after I realized what I said.

          "He fucking what?" I didn't answer. "What the fuck did you just say?" His voice grew louder. Angrier.

          "John, please." I pleaded.

          "I'm gunna cut off his fucking hands." He yelled as he pushed past me and went to leave his office.

          "John!" I shouted after him.

          He stopped in the doorway, his shoulders rising and falling with the heavy breaths he was taking. I walked up to him and laid a hand on his back, the tension I felt slowly disappearing. He turned to face me, the anger still evident on his face.

          "He's a dead man who's still breathing." He whispered.

          "John. Please, don't leave." I lifted my hand and laid it on the back of his head. I grabbed onto the small hairs that stuck up and ran my hand through it. "I need you. Right now."

          Without another word, he swooped me up off of the floor, my legs immediately going around his waist and his hands grasping onto my thighs. He shoved me up against the wall, then began fumbling with the buttons of his pants as he tried to hold me up with the other hand.

          I welcomed what came next.

          I forgot what it had felt like to be loved by a good man. Being with my husband allowed for little to no pleasure. Nothing for what I felt when I was with John. He would have been the man I married if I had chosen love over my father; as I'm sure John would have chosen me over his brother's wishes as well. John knew what made me tick, what pleasured me, what I yearned for, and he provided just as he knew how.

          When we collapsed onto his desk chair, I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to catch my breath. I inhaled his scent that was always so welcoming to me. He laid a kiss on my bare shoulder, as my blouse had somehow ended up on the floor.

          "I did not mean to make you an adulterer, John. " I said softly.

          "I meant to." He replied plainly.

          I giggled and laid a kiss on his lips, relishing in every moment I spent with him before I had to go back to my husband. Suddenly I remembered that he was waiting for me and jumped up out of his lap and locating my discarded blouse from the floor.

          "I forgot about my husband, I need to leave. I'm sorry." I said as I scrambled to adjust my appearance.

          "You're not going anywhere." He said as he stood up, fixing his pants buttons as he walked over towards me.

          "I need to leave."

          "I told you, he's a dead man. And I'm gunna handle it. You wait here for me. I'll be back." He pulled his suspenders back over his shoulders, then placed a kiss on my forehead before heading out, most likely in search of Arthur or Thomas to help him.

          Did I mind that he intended to beat and possibly kill my husband? Not even a little bit. In fact, I welcomed it.